


Survival Part II

by Nerwen



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-03-08 09:32:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerwen/pseuds/Nerwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms? When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead...Legolas. (This is the continuation of 'Survival' and Part II of the series.)</p><p>THIS WORK HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED IN FAVOR OF ITS REVISED VERSION "Shattered Pieces" SORRY, I HOPE THE REVISED VERSION READERS WILL ENJOY JUST AS MUCH IF NOT MORE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Survival Part II - Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a somewhat of a teaser, I wanted to see if people were still interested in reading a sequel to 'Survival' so I might be some time before I post again, or maybe not depending on the reaction I get ^_^ All in all I hope everyone enjoys!

Title: Survival Part II – Chapter 1  
Chapter: 1 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Thranduil/Thorin (Past Tense)  
Rating: Mature/Explicit  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst, self-harm, mental trauma

Authors Note: I decided to make Survival a Series fiction and this will be Part 2 that will have multiple chapters. If you have not read the first fiction 'Survival' then some elements to this fiction you might not understand so I highly suggest you read Part 1 first, although it's not completely required. To those who have already read Survival I did a little editing to the original story (not much) Anyway I hope you guys enjoy!  
I dedicate this fic to all those who have asked for a sequel and gave such positive feedback from the first installment of the Survival Series, this is for you guys! However, I must give a special shout out to XxIrisxX, who has read, and given me such great feedback and encouragement through the process of writing this, I appreciate everything you've done and I hope you enjoy!

***

Thranduil sat in his study finishing up a reply letter to Lothlorien, lord Celeborn and the Lady Galadriel had been his most beneficial and reliable trade consistent realm ever since he cut off trading with Erebor, he usually didn't associate much with other Elvin realms but he realized now that had been a mistake and thankfully there was no bad blood with their relationship, they even seemed somewhat eager to form a better relationship with him now that he was willing. Their trades thus far had been generous and Thranduil had been very forthcoming with them as well, with every correspondent their trust in one another grew, he felt safe knowing that if in need he could rely on Lothlorien, and a treaty between the two was not too far away.

Imladris still seemed somewhat hesitant to be dealing with Mirkwood but nonetheless they were starting small trades of furs and materials there were not of a great monetary value, but Thranduil understood this, the road between Imladris and Mirkwood was separated by the mountain, thus it was farther than Lothlorien, and they needed to be careful and cautious. A few wagons had already been attacked. So the supplies were limited but in time Thranduil hoped they could gain more from one another, even form an alliance one day.

Thranduil finished his letter closing it with his seal when he noticed a package sitting upon the desk across the way. He frowned not realizing it was there before as he picked it up examining it, there was no note, no message, nothing as to who it was for or where it had come from. Thranduil frowned but after a moment shrugged and opened the elusive package, curiosity getting the better of him.

Once he realized what it was it instantly dropped from his hands. It was a robe, but not just any robe it was his father's…the one Thorin had cut off of Thranduil's vulnerable and bound body. Thranduil had loved this robe, he even bartered with Thorin so not to destroy it, but once the night was finished he had forgotten it, too preoccupied with his own pain to gather it up and take it back home with him. He had left behind much the night he escaped...although ‘escape’ was the wrong word for it, he was allowed to leave and Thranduil wasted no time, in fear Thorin would change his mind. Everything he had brought with him he left behind, even his crown was left behind...but this robe, it meant so much to him sentimentally. But now…it represented a deep and painful reminder of what happened to him

It had been mended, sown back together seamlessly washed and pressed and obviously well taken care of, it had been a few years and it looked brand new. But the sight made Thranduil’s stomach lurch and his heart constrict. He fell to his knees pushing down the bile that threatened to rise as he looked away from the sight, it actually causing him physical pain to look upon that robe as tears rose in his eyes the slight sting and gasp of breath bringing back all too familiar feelings and reactions to his assault.

It was much like the burns upon his face, he actually bore no real disfigurement from that day, however his soul remembered the wound very well. If his memory was triggered and he was unable to compose himself they would manifest, they were known as soul-scars and his soul had been deeply scarred by Thorin.

 _'Why would Thorin do this? What reason could he have to send this to me now?'_ Thranduil's mind racing with possible answers although none seemed plausible. It didn't make sense! And something inside him snapped and he knew no more.

***

When Thranduil awoke he was in the medical ward of the palace, his whole body hurt and he couldn't remember how he had gotten here. He tried to sit up but his hands burned in protest from the movement, they had been bandaged but he could see burn marks up his forearms getting worse the closer they drew to his hands. He used his arms to sit himself up as he studied his other injuries trying to remember what had happened...this had happened once before, shortly after he had returned home after his assault, but he didn't need extensive medical attention afterward.

One of his guards walked into the infirmary and instantly went to his side. "Majesty your awake, we were all so worried about you...how are you feeling?" He asked searching his king’s eyes.

This guards name was Aldewin, he was a close friend and trusted confidant of Thranduil. He was captain of his royal guard and his own personal guardsman. He was one of the few people Thranduil actually trusted completely and without reservation, Aldewin had probably been watching over him all the time he was unconscious.

"...I'm not sure...I don't remember anything." Thranduil said looking away feeling somewhat embarrassed. "Do you know what happened?" He asked.

Aldewin hesitated but answered. "I came to bring you new correspondents from Imladris while you were still in your study and I heard you screaming, I rushed to the study to find you with your hands in the fire, you were pressing a robe firmly onto the wood but you were burning yourself in the process..." Aldewin said gesturing to Thranduil's wrapped hands. "I pulled you away but you became so violent with me and yourself, you were clawing at your skin and pulling out your hair, you smashed the mirrors in the room and overturned the furniture...I had to stop you before you hurt yourself further...I deeply apologize but I couldn't calm you down. So I struck you." Aldewin said his head bowed deeply in regret.

"You hit me?" Thranduil truly surprised Aldewin would do such a thing but not angry.

"I couldn't calm you, you were hurting yourself and I..." Thranduil stopped Aldewin from speaking.

"It's alright; I understand...I don't remember anything anyway." Thranduil said shaking his head.

"I apologize for speaking out of turn but you must know something, what is the last thing you do remember?" Aldewin asked wanting to understand what would lead Thranduil to do so much self harm.

Thranduil sighed closing his eyes trying to remember. "I was...replying to letters from Lothlorien, I was finished and was about to leave to have midday meal with Legolas, but I saw a package...it was from Erebor." Thranduil said.

"They have not attempted contact with us in some time, they sent you something?" Aldewin asked.

Thranduil didn't look at Aldewin and didn't answer him, he never spoke of what happened to him and wasn't about to start either. "I don't want to talk about this, I need my study put back together and I don't want to be questioned about this later either, I want this to disappear...I want you to handle this personally and speak of it to no one understand." Thranduil said his command firm.

Aldewin frowned at this. "I will do as you wish my King...but you know, this has happened before, you destroyed your bedroom, burned your journals, tore things apart with your bare hands, you didn't remember anything from that time either. Whatever it is that makes you do these things has not been dealt with properly, it festers within your heart until something triggers it and you become lost as a way to relive the tension of keeping it all inside...whatever happened to you need to confront and process before you lose yourself in public view...or worse yet in front of Legolas." Aldewin paused. "You attacked me unaware of whom I was, screaming at me all the while that it was my fault, I would worry that you would act that way upon him."

Thranduil looked away from Aldewin. "I fear that too...but what I fear more is leaving him all alone in this world the burden of being king placed upon him too soon. I cannot confront this, I need but to forget." Thranduil said shaking his head.

Aldewin didn't know it but Thranduil fallen into a feuded state more than twice now, it was closer to five times but the other times he managed to keep it to himself without anyone else noticing. He remembered that each incident occurred, but he didn't ever remember exactly what happened, he would black out and the comeback with everything around him practically destroyed. This time included Thranduil had probably broken every single mirror in the palace, burned more than a few books including his journals and this robe was not the first few articles of clothing he ripped apart or burned…however he had never placed his hands inside the flames before…the scars would last for some time too before they faded away.

"Tell me what happened." Aldewin said simply. "Allow me to share this burden with you, my soul purpose in life is to protect and advise you but if you do not share you worries with me…if cannot fulfill my responsibility to you...give unto me you burden...please my king let me help you." He pleaded.

Thranduil's mouth went dry, he wanted to speak of it so much, pour his heart out to someone and maybe just maybe it would help him heal, but what if it didn't what if it made matters worse. "I fear I would fade...I need to disregard it. I cannot dwell upon this matter too much."

"Avoidance is not an option anymore, it’s inside you seeking escape at all times...tell me." Aldewin said searching his Kings eyes.

Tears began to silently flow down Thranduil's cheeks. "Leave me Aldewin." Thranduil said his voice cracking with tears.

"My lord..." Aldewin began but Thranduil cut him off.

"Do not make me command it!" Thranduil yelled, he needed to be left alone, and if he could avoid it he didn't take pleasure in forcing Aldewin to leave.

"As you wish" Aldewin said with a deep bow before leaving Thranduil although he stayed just outside the door, ever the faithful servant.

Thranduil closed his eyes and took several deep breaths trying to get his breathing under control and calm his nerves. He couldn't seem to calm himself down though, after what Aldewin said to him it seemed to only upset and agonize him all the more…something had to be done. He couldn’t continue on as it was.

***

Thorin sat in his bedroom near the hearth staring into the fire that was slowly dying, the embers glowing bright red, the color reflecting onto the ground. He glanced up at his mantel, Thranduil's crown was still sitting there, he hadn't taken it with him when he left that night…Thorin still remembered that night like it was yesterday.

He had held that beautiful elf in his arms until the morning light broke over the horizon, Thranduil had fallen unconscious shortly after the second time Thorin had indulged himself, however he still refused to stop, so driven in his own hatred and anger he wasn't able to…although he did love the look of realization and humiliation that swept over Thranduil's features as he awoke to Thorin still enjoying himself. Thranduil didn't say anything for the reminder of the night, as if he was afraid of his own voice, almost as if it would betray him.

Thranduil had placed the back of his hand over his own mouth biting down hard upon his knuckles, Thorin remembered seeing blood slowly trail down Thranduil's chin, he was biting himself so hard he had drawn blood, he was obviously focusing more on the pain he was causing himself and less upon the pain Thorin was causing…it made it easier for Thranduil.

Thranduil cried of course and Thorin loved to lick those silent tears from his face before plundering that sweet mouth. Thorin was met with very little resistance through the rest of the night, not the lively and defiant creature that he originally brought here but a lifeless elf…despite all this though he didn’t yield. Thorin remembered every single detail of the night and he knew that he had to let him go so he did, he watched with arrogance as the almost helpless elf pulled on his clothing and stumbled from the room. Thorin was surprised to find that he had left that very day, not so much that he was gone more so the fact that he knew Thranduil was in terrible pain and he still forced himself to ride his elk in that condition.

Thorin shook away those thoughts, true enough he did delight somewhat on the memories but at the same time he regretted it somewhat, not because he felt awful for hurting Thranduil more so from the fact Mirkwood cut itself off from Erebor and he never realized what a valuable trade partner they were before. He had been unable to reach them through letters or any type of correspondence. He had even sent his nephews once with letters and gifts but they were turned away and Thranduil himself didn't even give them and audience nor the comfort of a one night stay, he didn't accept the gifts either.

Thorin had had that blasted robe Thranduil so cherished repaired and sent to him with no indication as to where it had come from, hoping it would instigate a response, any kind of response was a good one at this point.

***

Legolas walked into his father's study. They were supposed to meet for the midday meal but he never saw him. He checked the dining hall again for supper but still his father hadn't come. It wasn't like him to miss their time together, he was rather adamant that they spend at least one meal together every day if possible. So it concerned Legolas enough to look for him.

Legolas gasped audibly at the state his father's study was in, it looked as if a stampede of horses rushed through, there was shattered glass on the floor and some of the furniture had been over turned, he dared to walk further inside and saw something burning in the fire, it was clothing, a sleeve hung out from the flames with the royal emblem on the sleeve…this robe was his grandfather’s. Legolas knew this robe was most cherished by his father, it was a reminder of his grandfather; it was adored by his father but now it was turning to ash. Also where was his father? No one else used this study it was his father private sanctuary, not even Legolas used this room. He ran from the room going to his father's chamber but not finding him there either. He checked a few other places before he ran toward the healing rooms, where he saw Aldewin outside the medical room…he knew Aldewin would only be there if his father was.

"Aldewin! What happened?" Legolas asked worriedly.

Aldewin felt his mouth go dry, "Do not worry My Prince, your father will be all right." Aldewin said not sure what to say considering Thranduil had asked him not to speak of it to anyone.

"But, his study was practically destroyed, what happened?" He asked but seeing the expression Aldewin wore he knew his father told him not to speak of it, and he wasn't going to get an answer, even if he ordered it Aldewin would always obey his father before him.

Legolas pushed past Aldewin although the guard tried to stop him, he had no right to keep him away from his father's side. Legolas was surprised to see his father actually crying. They were silent tears. He wasn't sobbing into his pillow, he was merely staring at the wall lost in deep thought as he cried. Legolas had never seen his father look so vulnerable in all his life, as he slowly approached him cautiously.

"Father?" He said unsure.

Thranduil's thoughts broke and he looked at his son, he didn't want to see him. "I don't want you here." He said turning away, he would ask questions and Thranduil didn't feel like answering anything.

"…I know, otherwise Aldewin would have informed me you were here, you didn't join me for the midday meal or for supper so I became worried, did you…did you do that to your study?" Legolas asked noticing his father's injuries.

Thranduil hesitated. "…Yes, don't ask me why. I'm not sure what came over me." He said, he didn't want to lie to Legolas which is what made this conversation so dangerous.  
"Ada." Legolas said going to the bedside and sitting down. "Why did you burn grandfather’s robe? You loved that robe, you wanted it passed down to your children, yet you destroyed it…why?"

Thranduil shook his head. "I don't want to talk about this, please Legolas…just let it go."

"I think we need to talk about this father, you went such extremes, I think I need to know." Legolas placed a gentle hand over his father’s. "I hate seeing you suffer alone, I want you to know I am here."

Thranduil drew his hand away from his son's, "Stop…don't ask me questions, you don't need to know, you have no right…even though you are my son, the closest thing to my heart, I cannot allow it…just give me some time to myself I want nothing more but to be left alone right now."

"But father…" Legolas began but Thranduil stopped him.

"I told you what I need…go." Thranduil said simply, he honestly hated being so cold toward his son but he couldn't stand it anymore, he needed to be left alone, the further reminder of his shame was not helping.

Legolas nodded a little put off by his father's request but not deciding to push the issue further as he left his father alone.

Thranduil could feel the bruising, the tearing, strong hands grabbing him, touching him; how his eyes burned with hot tears and the stinging pulsation of a thin rope binding him that would send a jolt of pain with each beat of his heart. He remembered all the pain, all the suffering, the entire experience that scarred his soul so deeply that he couldn't forget, he tried so hard but he simply couldn't forget.

 _'Please, please make it stop…'_ He thought as he curled upon himself on the medical divan as tears overcame him and he sobbed into his pillow and began to slam his fist over and over into the thin mattress sending a burning ache through his arms from the burns he had suffered. He was angry yet so miserable at the same time and his body didn't seem to know how to find a medium to the feeling. So it erupted into a mixed reaction of weeping rage.

Why would Thorin do this?! What reason did he have to cause him more suffering and anguish? Had he not suffered enough for the wrong Thorin believed he had caused? What more could Thranduil do to vanquish this memory that was fighting him for release? His mind was jumble of confusion and he needed to gain control of himself before he once more lost himself in a sea of disorder.

He began to concentrate on his breathing, 'slow even breaths' he reminded himself…in and out…in and out…Thranduil repeated this over and over until he had finally calmed himself and his tears had stopped and the bubbling rage within him began to dissipate. He sat up in bed and sighed deeply, this couldn't continue as it was, something needed to be done, he had been strong for three long years but it was ebbing away at his sanity.

***

Thorin was pacing his room. Things had been difficult for Erebor since Thranduil had cut himself off completely from them. It took everything they had to keep his people from starving and with the winter approaching soon he feared his best would simply not be enough anymore. The marketplace was no longer a bustle of activity most had nothing to spare thus had nothing to sell or barter with and it pained Thorin to see his people in such a desperate state. He reclaimed his throne and mountain to bring it back to glory…where had he driven this proud kingdom unto.

Fili walked into his uncle’s quarters seeing the concerned expression in his eyes and knowing that Thorin was deeply troubled and with good reason.

"I managed to get in touch with our kin and they are willing to help as much as possible but it will take time for the supplies to reach us, and I'm not sure they will arrive before the first snow fall." Fili said. They had requested cold season crop seeds among other things that would help them survive the winter but they would need to be planted and rationed before the first snow.

"It won't do us much good if it doesn't arrive on time." Thorin said as he sat down and placed his face in his hands.

Fili also sighed as he looked upon the mantle noticing the crown of the elvin king Thranduil. "Uncle, we must try and contact Mirkwood again…we are struggling too much to leave the survival of our people to chance. Whatever the reason for the separation surely he would not let an entire generation of our people perish." Fili said.

Thorin scoffed at this. "Would you? If I took you to my bed, beat, and raped you…my dear nephew, would you ever speak to me again?" Thorin said, Thranduil may not be willing to speak of it but no such restriction was upon Thorin.

Fili sighed deeply, he knew what transpired between Thorin and Thranduil, his uncle told him once he returned from Mirkwood with the gifts that were meant for Thranduil. Fili wasn't sure why his uncle told him, even more confused on why he would do something as heinous as rape…but he knew Thorin was telling the truth.

"Let me try again, I could reach out to the prince, bypass Thranduil completely." Fili said.

"The prince…? Getting anything past Thranduil would be a hard task, but not impossible, why don't we send a private invitation to the Prince to come here? If he came I'm sure it would instigate at least some type of communication between us and Mirkwood and the Prince could see for himself how desperate our situation really is." Thorin said.

"I can get a letter to him I'm sure without Thranduil even knowing." Fili said having a few Elvin connections with access to the royal family. "Don't worry Uncle. I'll make sure our situation is understood."

***

Legolas went to his father's study seeing the state in such disarray as he began to pick up the mess. He gathered up the books and picking up the broken mirror pieces and glass that was strewn across the room. He was preoccupied with the clean up when Aldewin walked inside.

Aldewin sighed and walked up to the Prince. "There is no need to concern yourself with all this, I'll handle the mess, and the King asked me to do so." He said.

"I want to help…something must have set my father off into this rage, he won't tell me so I thought maybe the answer I'm looking for I would find here somehow." Legolas said.  
"This is chaos my Prince, I wouldn't expect to find any answers here." Aldewin said. "Your father will speak of this when he feels ready to do so but not before, for now all we can do is wait until he's confident enough to reveal his secrets." Aldewin said.

"He's my father…we should be able to tell each other everything. Not have secrets." Legolas said.

"Everyone have secrets, even a King…even a father. He's not hiding anything to hurt you but rather to protect himself." Aldewin said gently. "Go on now. I'll take care of all this."

Legolas sighed but stood up to leave Aldewin to the mess, he had wished he knew what was causing his father such distress but Thranduil refused to speak of it, if it was matters of the Kingdom or affairs with the other Kingdoms his father was more than willing to share every piece of knowledge he had but he hadn't shared his emotions or feelings in years…it was strange they used to barely even spend much time together but then suddenly he requested that they spend their meals together at least once a day, he spent a few days a week in deep meditation…and he cut off all ties with Erebor, it was actually a struggle for the first year but his father refused to change his mind, it did strengthen ties with the other elvin realms and Mirkwood was thriving again but Legolas had no idea what instigated this change.

***

A few weeks after the incident in the study and Thranduil's injures had healed, Thranduil and Legolas resumed their normal tradition of meals once a day, Thranduil's meditation was amped up a notch a few more hours in deep concentration to further suppress the memories, he wished so desperately there a way to banish them completely from his mind and he knew that suppressing them might cause future problems but he didn't know what else to do…he was at a loss of how to handle the situation.

Legolas was absorbed in his studies when a knock on his door interrupted his train of thought He sighed but decided to take a break anyway "Enter." he called from his desk.  
Galion one of the council of advisors team entered. "I have a letter for you Prince Legolas." He said holding out the letter.

Legolas frowned. "Why are you personally delivering me a letter? It should be in my father's study with all the rest." He said taking the letter; all mail was filtered by his father's watchful eye if there was a letter for him he was sure his father wouldn't withhold it from him.

"I received this from a private informant, and they stressed the extreme importance that it reach you directly…you know your father refuses all correspondents with Erebor, and this is from them." Galion said.

Legolas looked at the letter skeptically but he decided to see what was so important that they needed to use private channels. "You may leave." Legolas said as Galion left and he opened the letter.

 

_-Prince Legolas of Mirkwood_

  
_This letter had been sent to you by the Royal Family of Erebor, we apologize for the underhanded technique we used in contacting you, however other attempts have been rebuked and audiences have been refused. We request humbly that you accept our invitation to come to Erebor to discuss trading negotiations._

  
_We understand that the King of Mirkwood has cut all ties with Erebor and you being the son of the great king would want only to respect his wishes however we are in dire need of your assistance. Erebor is suffering greatly, our people are in danger and we fear losing many of our kin with the approaching winter and not enough supplies to sustain them, we implore you to accept our invitation for we are desperate need of your assistance._

  
_-With great respect and humility_

  
_-The Royal family under the mountain._

Legolas gave the letter a moment of pause, it held a footnote of the place and time where he was to meet them and be escorted the rest of the way to the mountain, they said to feel free to bring his own entourage at his own discretion. Legolas wasn't sure if he should accept the invitation however, his thoughts of declining sat very unnerving, and what if their need was indeed so great that their people would in fact die should they not receive help? Legolas couldn't allow himself to be responsible for such a terrible misfortune. He decided to gather a few guardsmen and swear them to secrecy of their true destination while he informed his father that he would be going out hunting in the wilderness for the next few days. He knew his father would object if he knew the truth but once in Erebor he would send him a letter telling him the truth but not until he had arrived. He had to do what he could to help Erebor if their situation was in truth as desperate as they said he would do as much as he could to help.

***

I hope everyone enjoyed chapter 1 of Part II and I hope you aren't too disappointed that there wasn't any Thorinduil in this chapter, I can't promise there will be any of that though unless in reflection of past times, but we'll see how things work out. Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated! Let me know if you want more!


	2. Survival Part II - Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I wasn't going to update for a while but everyone was so supportive with the continuation! I just had to post a new chapter ^_^ I hope everyone keeps reading and enjoying it, thanks so much for all the kudos and reviews! You guys are my inspiration!

Title: Survival Part II – Chapter 2  
Chapter: 2 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Thranduil/Thorin (Past Tense)  
Rating: Mature/Explicit  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst

***

Legolas met the dwarf party just slightly outside of Mirkwood forest to its east side. He brought two soldiers and Galion as his own entourage. Usually Galion would have preferred to stay in Mirkwood but his advice could prove valuable, not to mention he would need to send one of his guards back to Mirkwood with a message to his father of his whereabouts. Legolas was here on behalf of the dire need the dwarfs expressed in their letter, it was troubling to Legolas and he couldn't simply ignore it…but also he might be able to get some answers to why his father cut off trading to begin with. He had asked before and was never met with an answer his father would always tell him not to concern himself, or that it was for the best, but never why it happened.

Legolas had forgotten how massive and truly dramatic the mountain was. He had only visited once but he didn't have much time to admire or respect its architecture or history involved within these stone walls. He had always wanted to know more, and now it seemed he would have the chance. He was brought down the long corridors to the great hall where Thorin sat upon his throne and received Prince Legolas with a slight bow of his head which Legolas returned. The treasured Arkenstone glittered above Thorin like an individual crown for the stone throne and the beauty of the mountain truly awe struck Legolas for a moment…although it also made him feel sympathy, for with all the riches the mountain possessed they were plagued with famine and scarcity of the most basic of needs.

Thorin glanced at Fili; he was more than pleased that his dear nephew had come through for him. He managed to get the elf prince here, which was the first step in saving their people. Fili would do well in the coming years and almost certainly do well as Erebor's king should that responsibility fall unto him, but for now it was Thorin's reign and he would need to handle this situation from this time forth.

"I am truly grateful that you have taken the time to see us, I know the journey here can be draining, I have a room already prepared for you. Allow me to walk you there personally." Thorin said trying his best to be gracious and diplomatic.

"There is really no need; I am here because you expressed a great need. If the situation is truly dire I do not believe we should waste any time with pleasantries. Let us speak of your need, and see if Mirkwood can assist you." Legolas said strongly.

Thorin gave a small smile, he saw very much of Thranduil in his son, not only in their appearance but also their personality. They were direct and to the point, they didn't conceal their intentions and would let their thoughts be known clearly, and they had a true aversion for wasting time.

"Follow me then Prince Legolas, we will discuss these matters in my study." Thorin said motioning for Fili and Kili to follow him.

Legolas turned to one of his advisors." Malton, I will conduct this meeting with Galion and Haeron, please go back to Mirkwood with my letter to the King and deliver it promptly." Legolas said.

Thorin paused upon hearing this. "King Thranduil? Does he not know of this meeting?" Thorin had actually guessed the king, in fact, did not know about this meeting but he wanted confirmation.

Legolas sighed. "You went through great lengths and secret messengers to bypass my King completely and reach me specifically. My father burns any letters you send his way without any regard to their contents, he would have specifically forbid me to come if he knew, and I would not directly disobey him. However, I will not let him be oblivious to my location. Malton will tell my father where and why I am here." Legolas said.

Kili frowned as they walked toward the study. "Won't he be angry with you? If the King is angry it might hurt out negotiations." He said. "After all we did compel you to visit."

"He'll be furious I'm sure, but it won't hurt our negotiations, I won't allow my father to gamble with your people's lives no matter how angry he is. I made the conscious decision to come, you are not at fault. I have Malton delivering a letter to explain exactly that. So do not fret." Legolas said as they arrived at the study and all sat down to begin their discussions.

***

"He did what!?" Thranduil practically screamed at a shrinking Malton when he delivered the news of Legolas' whereabouts. "You thought it prudent to lie to me of your true destinations and intentions!?"

"Forgive me my King." Malton bowed deeply keeping his eyes on the floor. "I did not know the destination until we were already on our way. I knew the Prince would tell you the truth but only after he was in Erebor, he is not in any danger I assure you Galion and Haeron are with him…" Malton was cut off by Thranduil.

"I cut off ties with Erebor with good reason! You should answer to your King before the orders of the Prince and you will be reprimanded!" Thranduil growled angry at the blatant disregard or his commands. "Make the necessary arrangements for me to leave for Erebor by tomorrow, sooner if possible." Thranduil said leaving the main hall and going into his private rooms.

He was packing a bare minimum of supplies. If Malton knew what was best he would already be preparing his elk for departure. He began to get undressed so he could change into his riding attire, when Aldewin walked in.

"It's only polite to knock you know." Thranduil said slightly irritated but not really caring either he knew Aldewin very well, he had been present for Thranduil's birth as was his personal royal guard the two were more than friends yet less than lovers.

"I heard the commotion in the main hall…you usually don't get so angry over such a minor incident." Aldewin said as Thranduil moved behind a screen to finish changing. "Legolas would not disobey you without good reason.”

"Minor? My son lied to me about his true destination and purpose, trade negotiations indeed, I'm going to Erebor getting my son back and never again dealing with those…things." Thranduil said gritting his teeth.

Aldewin frowned. "Things…? You make it sound as if the dwarfs are lower than an orc." Aldewin said.

"…Not all of them." Thranduil said softly under his breath although Adewin picked up on it anyway.

"I have taken care of your study, there were a few things that I couldn't save, but for the most part it is back in order." Aldewin said changing the subject as if what happened was a normal occurrence. "May I request permission to accompany you to Erebor? You shouldn't go alone but with the rush, a suitable entourage cannot be arranged." Aldewin said.

"…Yes…I want you to see what we would be able to spare as far as supplies, dried meats, preserves, possibly some saplings that have not already been planted." Thranduil said.  
Aldewin frowned. "My lord?" He asked

"I have a fairly good idea why and how they convinced Legolas to come for negotiations, Mirkwood was their major supply route for quite some time until I broke off operations between us…they might be in need of some assistance. If that is the case I could be persuaded to help but I want to know the full extent of our supplies before I go." Thranduil said as Aldewin departed to gather the information he requested.

Thranduil slipped on his riding boots taking a deep breath, his only concern was for Legolas now. He was now in his most hated enemy's clutches and now Thranduil had to come face to face with the same evil that brutalized him…he wasn't sure if it was anxiety or fear that was growing in the pit of his stomach making him feel sick but whatever he was feeling he needed to bring his son back home, make sure he was safe, if the unthinkable was to befall his son…Thranduil wasn't sure he could withstand the pain.

Thranduil looked at the long fingered gloves he still wore as a result of burning himself, he still had several cuts a bruises that were slowly healing as well…it would be a difficult ride to Erebor, although not quite as difficult as the night he left three years ago, it took every ounce of reserve strength he had to ride his elk home that morning and the pain was almost unbearable, he had actually fainted twice falling from his mount onto the floor until he finally regained consciousness and forced himself to ride once more…Thranduil desperately wished there would be no pain involved in this, but that was a dream.

***

Legolas listened intently to everything Thorin had to say as well as the proof of their depleted supplies. It definitely wasn't enough to sustain the population through the winter. Thorin's people were starving, living off stale bread crust and contaminated water if they were lucky. Many had not even that to sustain themselves. Legolas was curious on how well off the Royal family was but they were in the same basic shape only eating what was absolutely necessary and selflessly giving any other available portions to the people in the hope to save them but it simply wasn’t enough.

"We called upon our kin for help too, but due to population they could only help so much and we need the supplies before the first snowfall and although they will try I don't know if they would arrive in time for us to make good use of their seedlings." Fili explained being the one who handled the negotiations with their dwarf kin.

"You need more than seedlings though, you need meat protein, and vegetables high in fiber and carbohydrates, clean drinking water, your people are becoming sick and weak due to all they are lacking and even if they survive the winter you will have a long road to recovery in regaining their strength to begin working fields and raising livestock so that this does not happen again." Legolas said firmly his heart breaking at the terrible state these dwarfs were living in.

"That is why we desperately need your help, we will pay any price you ask, the mountain is rich in gold and gems." Thorin said.

"A lake of gold in the desert is less valuable than a fresh spring." Legolas said with a sigh. "Mirkwood actually had a great harvest this year, spring came so early we were able to plant and harvest twice before the snowfall would come, and our cold season vegetable crops are also looking very promising. Tell me why have you not planted winter crops already? You should have a full supply of collards, potatoes, beets, some of which would be ready for harvest in a month had you simply prepared." Legolas said sternly the people were not the ones at fault. It was their King who was responsible for this famine.

"Dwarfs are not farmers." Kili said with a huff.

"Maybe you should be, if you had been planting and working fields your people wouldn't be starving." Legolas said sternly. "I know Mirkwood had a generous harvest, and a very productive trade for meats from Lotholorien…I'm sure we can spare the excess to help you, but you must know I cannot authorize this on my own, such a large transfer of goods will have to be permitted by my father and considering his disposition on trading with you I am not sure he will allow it, if he is adamant about trade routes staying closed there is nothing I can do…I will do everything in my power to persuade him to help though." Legolas said

Thorin shook his head. "You cannot allow him to refuse, you are our last hope…we will pay any price you ask of us and will one day pay back the generosity you have shown us, I swear by the mountain that this debt will be paid but please do not let my people die." Thorin said practically begging for his people's lives.

"I will do everything I can King Thorin, but I am but the prince of Mirkwood and our King, King Thranduil has quite a contempt toward your people…you wouldn't know anything about why would you?" Legolas asked searching the dwarf King’s eyes for some type of clue as to what happened between their people.

Thorin looked away at the moment sparing a glance at Kili. Legolas didn't know? It would seem that Thranduil was true to his word about remaining silent about the ordeal, these past few years Thranduil had never spoke of it? Not even to his only son? He seemed stronger than Thorin had originally given him credit for. Thorin knew that what he had done was brutal and it could ultimately kill Thranduil. He had never known an elf to survive such an attack. He had heard stories of other elves that had been assaulted in such a way and some faded while others sailed to the Valinor, but Thranduil had stayed and somehow he carried on.

"The reason is long, there had been much strife between our people over the centuries, but it doesn't matter now, I am willing to make any amends necessary to save my people." Thorin said.

Legolas nodded and stood. "Prepare a letter and requests, I will deliver it to my father and make sure he receives it and understands your situation." Legolas softened a little. "I will do everything I can."

Thorin nodded. "I'll have it written immediately, please stay and rest to ensure your travel will not be hindered. It will take a few days to make a full list of requests. Stay until we have taken the necessary inventory." He said as Legolas left escorted by Kili.

Fili turned to his uncle once he was assured that Legolas was well out of earshot. "Thranduil will not forgive you, and I'm not sure the suffering of our people will sway him to help" He said firmly.

"What would you have me do Fili? I am doing everything in my power to receive help. We can only wait now and see if things work out for the best." Thorin said.

"I know you will not say it but Thranduil's son being here is a great advantage…we could use him to persuade the King, even force his hand if we must." Fili said. The only thing both Fili and Thorin cared about right now was to save their subjects.

Thorin frowned and shook his head. "If we did that it could start a war Fili and we cannot fight them with our resources so depleted, it would only make our situation worse. Also with their alliance with the other Elvin realms they would certainly defeat us." Thorin said.

"Thranduil wouldn't do that; he would do anything if only to keep his secret safe. He wouldn't sacrifice his son, no, but if he called upon others to fight a war his secret would be revealed and he simply wouldn't allow that to happen…his only concern is Legolas and survival. We cannot allow him to refuse. We can't let Legolas leave." Fili said.

Thorin sighed. "Very well…however he will not be leaving for at least another few days. We can afford to wait before we alarm him." He looked at Fili. "Make a suitable place for the prince to be held, I don't want to place him in the dungeon. He is here by no fault of his own and I don't want him harmed do you understand?" Thorin said sternly.

"No harm will come to him, I promise you this." Fili said.

“As for his two elf guards have them detained as well, I do not wish them to cause any rumors that we have imprisoned the Prince of Mirkwood, confining them to their quarters with stationed guards should be enough. They do not need any explanation, just keep them detained while Thranduil and I come to a suitable arrangement they will be released with the Prince but not before.” Thorin said as the two parted ways.

***

Thorin walked slowly back to his room. His mind was spinning with everything, his people’s famine, his own dedication to do everything he could to save them, Legolas the innocent bystander…and then there was Thranduil; the one person who could help. This elf could be the mountain’s destruction if he refused aid. Thorin honestly didn't want to lock Legolas up and use him as a bartering chip but he really had no other choice, Fili was right, if Legolas was home safe and sound what reason would Thranduil have to listen? He wouldn't care and that prideful and arrogant elf would let them die!

Thorin took the crown of Thranduil's off his mantel and looked at it a moment. Strong metal that rested alongside delicate and high cheekbones, finely crafted wood rising toward the sky and fragile leaves the color of autumn woven alongside the kindling. It was beautiful and it looked brilliant upon Thranduil. As Thorin's thoughts drifted back to that night he had Thranduil at his mercy and he felt that same stirring in his groin that he felt before the heat rushing through his veins and pooling in-between his legs.

He placed the crown back upon the mantle and sat in one of the chairs in front of the hearth where he could look upon it as he began to undo the laces of his breeches. He pulled down the doeskin, grasping his member which was slowly becoming stiff in his hand as he slowly began to pump his length while gazing at that crown, fantasizing of that beautiful elf writing beneath him in pain, making Thorin's delight all the more pleasurable. Thorin would have raped Thranduil that night even if he had apologized. He wanted to have him even if meant he would have to force him. Thorin groaned in pleasure as his member began to leak only slickening the way for Thorin to stroke himself faster.

The images that flooded Thorin’s mind were obscene and lewd, but that night was filled with vile imagery that would make most turn away in revulsion although Thorin reveled in the similes. Fantasy giving shape to that all to prefect body which needed punishment, needed to be degraded and humiliated, and Thorin needed to be the one to deliver these depraved events.

"Oh…by the mountain…yes." He growled deep in his throat. "Cry more, scream louder, hate it, oh god yes!" Thorin spilled his seed all over his hands as his breath came in heavy pants. Thorin had more than once used the memories of that night to bring himself to completion and soon he would be seeing him again, he knew well enough that he probably would never touch him again but nevertheless seeing him again would stir his bottled up passion anew. For all the times he shared his bed with girls and boys alike with seasoned warriors and the most beautiful and noble of maidens. None of them seemed to sate his desire as Thranduil had. Even without Thranduil here and with nothing but the visual of his crown he could bring himself such a blessed release that of which could never be duplicated.

Thorin took a moment to catch his breath; Legolas had probably already been moved and confined. By morning he would know the trickery, yet be helpless to remedy it. Thranduil would be forced to come, and he would do anything to save his child…Thorin truly wanted no harm to befall the Prince but his kingdom and his people's lives did outweigh the fate of one Elvin princeling. Thorin would have this Elvin King Thranduil yield to his demands. He would finally get Thranduil to yield.

***

Thranduil dismounted his elk once outside Mirkwood's forest; he could see the outline of Erebor in the distance, the lonely mountain solid and unyielding. 'What was Legolas thinking?' Thranduil thought to himself. Aldewin walked up to Thranduil.

"It will take over a day for us to arrive, I sent a messenger ahead so they will be expecting our arrival." Aldewin said. Thranduil was in such haste to go Aldewin had little time to prepare.

"I only wish to retrieve my son and come back…if they require assistance I trust you can make the necessary arrangements." Thranduil said mounting his horse and starting toward the mountain his heart beat becoming heavier with each gallop.

"You still won't tell me what is wrong? I know it is connected to Erebor, something or someone…you've been behaving out of character ever since the celebration three years ago, I didn't wish to question you but it concerns me more and more." Aldewin said.

"Aldewin…" Thranduil paused. "I know you mean well but your constant interference is going to do more harm than good. If I ever feel the need to confide in you I will but until then I want no more talk of this this understand?"

"Very well my King." Aldewin said deciding to leave the topic alone for now, Thranduil was stressed enough with his son and going to Erebor…now was not the time.

***

"King Thorin, I was just informed a small party from Mirkwood will be reaching our border by nightfall, I hear it is the King himself with his personal royal guardsmen." The young dwarf said to Thorin.

"Give his majesty the best rooms we have available as well as his guard, I'm sure he will want him close." He said with no twinge of emotion in his voice as the youthful dwarf scurried off.

"That was quick Thranduil." He said to himself, he must have hastened his departure to be coming so soon to his sons rescue. Thorin didn't quite understand this almost obsessive need Thranduil had to do practically anything all for the sake of his son, Thorin couldn't phantom that type of blind love and devotion…partly why Thorin himself never married. Dwarfs mated for life and he had no intention of giving himself fully to some dwarf maiden who was after his crown, and he didn't want children either. Thorin sighed, he wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish with practically forcing Thranduil to come to Erebor but at the same time he desperately needed to see him again despite that.

It was strange but he had envisioned many times exactly what he would do to Thranduil if he was given the chance to see he him, to be close to him. He could already feel that silky-smooth elvin flesh beneath his palms, taste the salt of his skin and tears…but he knew that that type of opportunity with Thranduil would never present itself again not to mention that he needed to stay focused on getting the resources he needed for his people.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading chapter 2! Comments and Kudos are always greatly appreciated and responded too! I hope everyone is enjoying it so far!


	3. Survival Part II - Chapter 3

Title: Survival Part II – Chapter 3  
Chapter: 3 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Thranduil/Thorin (Past Tense)  
Rating: Mature/Explicit  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~ 

Warning: angst

 

***

Thranduil was now sitting in how own private quarters in the mountain, the assistant told him Thorin would meet with him later but the anticipation was practically killing Thranduil, not to mention the young dwarf would not speak of his son and that his king would tell him of everything he needed to know in the morning.

Thranduil was re-thinking his decision to come to the mountain with only Aldewin as his companion, he should not have let his anger and fear get the better of him, he should have had an entourage of at least four guards accompany him it was foolish of him to not do so…although he thought it even more foolish to be here in the first place. He shouldn't have even come to this mountain; he should have insisted they come to him if they wanted to negotiate…however he feared that any delay would be devastating to his son. True he had no proof that they had any ill-intentions but the simple fact that they would not allow him to see Legolas filled him with dread concerning the entire situation.

Thranduil sat with his back to the door, he was terrified that at any moment it would open and Thorin would be there. They had arrived at a rather late hour so it was no wonder that they couldn't receive an audience instantly, but Thranduil would not be finding any rest in this mountain. So it only made his mind wander and think back on that terrible night even though he wished desperately not to. He had spent years trying to forget and in one simple act of an anonymous package that contained Thranduil's fathers robe…it was all coming apart, he was coming apart. He just wanted to forget, to live his life as a good father and a strong king…but he wasn't that strong in a situation such as this he was incredibly weak and even terrified. A few silent tears made their way down his cheeks as he furiously wiped them away. His mind was a jumble of mixed emotions, fear, anger, concern, he couldn’t seem to sort them out or process them together or individually, every emotion and feeling bombarded his senses all at once and it was exasperating.

A soft knock on his door made Thranduil jump. Although it was soft it was incredibly loud in Thranduil's ears as if a crack of thunder had roused him from a deep sleep. He swallowed thickly as he stood up on shaky legs and opened the door just a crack. He sighed relived seeing that it was Aldewin.

"I'm sorry if I woke you…I was concerned…" Aldewin said.

Aldewin has stayed in is room and spent most of it pacing back and forth, his thoughts were consumed with worry for his King, he felt alarmed but unsure as to why however, Thranduil’s behavior as of late made him apprehensive and the fact that is Lord wouldn’t even speak to him as to the strange manners and destructive actions only made his unease intensify.

"Please come in." Thranduil said opening the door fully to allow him inside, he was actually thankful for any distraction. "I could use the company…your concern is touching, I'll be all right I'm just anxious to see Legolas." Thranduil said.

"Yes, the attendant wasn't very forthcoming of his whereabouts was he?" Aldewin said shaking his head. "I'm sure he is fine, he was probably sleeping anyway considering the hour, you'll see him tomorrow I'm sure, and then we can all go home." Aldewin walked up to Thranduil touching his Kings face gently and looking at him intently. "You were crying." He said simply fret crossing his features.

"I'm fine." Thranduil said turning away from the gaze, he had forgotten the few tears he shed, he was never able to hide anything from Aldewin, and partly what made Aldewin such a wonderful friend also made him an exasperating companion. "It was nothing." He added hastily.

"You don't cry over nothing, you never cry, I've seen it happen only once at that was when Legolas was born and I highly doubt that some twisted sense of happiness made you cry in this mountain." He said pulling Thranduil back to look at him. "Is there nothing I can do? Why won’t you let me in so that I can help you? I am sworn to protect you but if you don't let me in then I am worthless."

Thranduil shook his head. "You could never be worthless Aldewin." Thranduil said turning away from him. "You are essential…the only other I have ever felt comfortable enough to confide in, I have told you things that I have never shared with any other, not even Legolas…but I still have secrets that I do not wish to share with anyone including you." Thranduil said sadly, he wished he could tell him but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

"If you cannot speak of it to me then who?" Aldewin asked.

"No one, these are my secrets to hold and my burden to bear…I do not wish to lose you or my son over this matter, whether you turn from me or I lose myself it matters not." Thranduil said truly believing that both Aldewin and Legolas would look upon him in disgust if he revealed the truth about the violation he suffered at Thorin's hands, if they were to turn away from him he knew that pain would surely make him fade, it would be more painful than being raped a hundred times over.

"I would never." Aldewin said matter-of-factly. "You shouldn't be alone tonight. I'll stay and watch over you, try and get some rest you'll be meeting the dwarf king soon enough." Aldewin said settling down in one of the chairs to keep watch.

Thranduil sighed sitting upon the bed, he actually felt better at not being alone at this time, he wouldn’t have to worry too much about unwanted attention or visits, and he settled into bed and fell into a dreamless sleep.

***

Thorin found himself in his own chamber his mind practically consumed by thoughts of Thranduil, he was actually here in the mountain once again, and it had been years however, Thorin was finally able to get him to come. True the reasons for his visit were under direst but that mattered not to Thorin what mattered is that the beautiful and timeless elf was in Erebor. He couldn’t greet them right away; he wanted Thranduil to have the night to think about where he was and where his son was, he specifically told the servant to tell them nothing, and they he would be granted an audience in the morning. Thorin did watch though as they entered his Kingdom, he couldn’t resist the urge gaze upon him momentarily after so many years.

When Thranduil and a single guardsman entered his hall it actually shocked Thorin that at a single glance this elf still took his very breath away, he looked an inch away from perfection, the expressionless face and the cool beauty he possessed. Thorin wasn’t sure what to expect when they would be face to face in the morning but now he could imagine this ethereal beauty any way he wished.

Thranduil showed no emotion or notion of what he was feeling or thinking and the young dwarf servant explained why they couldn’t meet with Thorin right away and had no information pertaining to his son, he could see Thranduil’s mask fall as he bristled somewhat from the news but complied to being shown his chamber. Thorin stared back wanting to gain some type of understanding on where Thranduil stood what his position was in all this but he would have to wait until the sun.

Thorin wanted to speak to Thranduil so badly too, but he could not do so now, not for everyone to hear, the talking needed to be done in privacy. He could have given Legolas back to Thranduil but he knew once he did Thranduil would leave without a moment’s hesitation so he would use the young prince once more to get the conversation with Thranduil he wanted…almost desperately needed. Thorin wasn’t sure what he would say yet so he had them shown to chambers so he would have time to think. The situation with his people would have to come first of course, but after that would they discuss what happened? Could Thranduil speak of it even? He had vowed to forget and had Thranduil succeeded in that task? The entire situation was giving Thorin a headache and decided to retire for the evening but even his dreams held no refuge from Thranduil.

In Thorin’s dream he remembered that silk-soft skin, hair as heavy as lead and thick as gold, pale honey colored hair lying heavily against alabaster skin. Pink rose petal lips delicate and sweet, hiding pearly white teeth and a cherry-blossom colored tongue. Those dark brown and thick eyelashes that would part ever so slightly to reveal the most beautiful lapis blue eyes one had ever seen, more beautiful than all the sapphires in Erebor were Thranduil’s eyes…so beautiful in every aspect was the memory Thorin held.

Thorin remembered everything though, how he tore down those beautiful walls revealing a vulnerable and defenseless elf. Thranduil’s hair matted and dull, that silken skin marred and bruised, those pink petal lips swollen, red, and cut and those lapis eyes…tear filled with silver streaks running down his face as he was brutalized repeatedly as it seemed nothing would state Thorin’s lust.

Thorin’s dream drifted once more to that night, of the things he subjected Thranduil to, the things he had done to him…how wonderful it had felt for Thorin and how torturous it was to Thranduil.

Thorin remembered pulling Thranduil to his hands and knees at one point. Thranduil was unable to support his own weight so his arms collapsed underneath himself and he rested the majority of his weight on his chest. However, Thorin took no notice or care as he drove himself inside once more, that velvet heat enveloping him making him moan in sheer bliss of the feeling. 

“Still so tight after everything I have put you through tonight…I’m surprised you’re still conscious at this point.” Thorin said cruelly close to the delicate pointed ear.

In truth Thranduil had fainted twice already, being unconscious a blessed release from this pain but it never lasted too long. The pain would wake him eventually; his body would rouse him from his escape begging him to remove himself from this pan although he was completely helpless at this point, exhausted being mentally and physically drained…he couldn’t fight back or protect himself, even his voice had become lost…there was nothing he could do but pray this would end…one way or another that this would end.

Thorin could see Thranduil more than once open his mouth only to shut it once more, he could clearly see words attempting to form as he pressed his lips together about to speak but always stopped himself. Thorin knew exactly what he was about to say but until he did Thorin would not stop his assault.

Thorin thrust forward hard, the headboard slamming against the wall and he continued making sure each movement caused pain for the elf beneath him. He could hear soft moans of distress that were muffled by the bed sheets, Thorin grabbed a fistful of that blonde hair and craned Thranduil’ head backward hissing into his ear angrily.

“I want to hear your pain! You refuse to speak the words I want to hear, you come so close to saying please and stop but you still deny me such a simple request…since I will not hear those words I will hear your pain!” He twisted the handful of Thranduil’s hair viciously and slammed his body full force forward and Thranduil screamed.

***

Thorin awoke with a gasp, his body sweating and aroused from the dream although he had not reached completion. “By the Mountain.” He breathed, why did Thranduil have such an effect on him after all this time? Why could he not simply forget that beautiful elf, he had brutalized him so violently Thorin prayed he would not even survive a week before he faded and yet he had lived…despite everything Thranduil had survived which was a true testament to the power of his resolve to live for his son.

Thorin got out of bed, taking Thranduil’s crown off the mantle, he grabbed his own incomplete erection and proceeded to stroke himself until he climaxed, spilling his seed upon the crown as if once more demeaning Thranduil in the process. 

“Tread lightly Thranduil, there is nothing more I want than to have you screaming and crying beneath me once more…and your precious child that you have sacrificed so much for makes for a very tempting substitute.” He growled into the darkness of his chamber.

***

Thranduil awoke to a soft knock on his camber door, he awoke looking upon Aldewin's sleeping face, he was still wearing his clothes and he must have stayed awake through most of the night to be sleeping so soundly now. Thranduil couldn't help but smile slightly; he really was a good friend. Aldewin had always looked after Thranduil and taken such god care of him, Thranduil truly wished he could trust him enough to confide the truth of what happened to him, it really had nothing to do with Aldewin but more Thranduil's inability to trust anyone, he was still having trouble trusting others…even those whom he had known all his life.

He shook himself of that thought as he went to answer the door while shrugging on a robe. A young dwarf bowed deeply as he addressed Thranduil.

"Elvin King, my Lord requests you join him for breakfast in his study, your talks can proceed without interruptions." He said glancing behind the king seeing the sleeping form of another although he kept it to himself for the time being.

Thranduil paused for a moment. "Where is your King’s study located?" He asked.

"It is connected to his main room in the center of the Palace; I assure you it's a suitable place for talks and negotiations." The young dwarf said.

Thranduil glanced back at Aldewin before turning his attention back to the young dwarf before him. "You will take me to your library and I will meet the King there." He said as he sat to put his boots on.

"But…my Lord insisted on meeting in his study." He said worried about disobeying the order.

"And I am refusing, you said he requested me join him I deny his request, if he wishes to meet me I will wait for him in the library." Thranduil said striding past the young dwarf going toward the library he remembered where it was he really had no need to be guided.

***

Thorin fumed at Thranduil's insolence, it was a simple request for him to come to the study he wasn't asking to meet him in his bedroom…although he wanted to. "I do not appreciate my orders being disobeyed." He growled seeing the cowering form of the young dwarf before him so he softened a little. "I asked you to observe him, what was his demeanor?" Thorin asked.

"He seemed to be all right, adamant about not meeting you here though." he said.

"Just fine?" Thorin asked.

"Well, it seemed I had woke him up and…he wasn't alone, his guardsman was still asleep, I believe they spent the night together." He said seeing a strange look cross his Kings features.

"You may go, I'll meet him in the library as he asked, send some food up for us." Thorin said. Was Thranduil sleeping with his guard? Was he honestly involved with someone? Thorin found himself feeling an uncontrollable surge of…jealousy? It was an odd sensation to feel anything but hate and anger for Thranduil, that and lust, something he was unable to control. He knew it shouldn’t matter to him that elf was free to do whatever and whoever he wanted and in the end it really wasn't Thorin's business…but it still bothered him nonetheless and that in itself was concerning.

Thorin shook himself of all those thoughts as he made his way toward the library, he remembered the library was where he had fist spoken to Thranduil, before the fall of Erebor, they had a civilized conversation for a few moments over a cup of wine…until Thranduil had insulted him and his kin, he didn't say anything outright but his implication that he cared nothing for dwarfs was enough to get Thorin's blood boiling and that anger had festered over the years and soon exploded into a vengeance he was sure Thranduil would never forget.

***

When he walked into the Library it was almost as if all the air had been taken from the room. He had waited so long to see Thranduil once more it was like a dream, he never would have thought his peoples suffering would give him such a gift. He didn't look a day older than when they first meet, as was the magic of elves, beautiful and ethereal. Thorin still had the memory of tears streaming down his face, blood tails over various places on his naked body, bruises on pale flesh that trembled beneath his hands…looking at him now you would never think them to be the same being.

Thorin took a few steps forward glancing at the table which had been set with food and beverages but it seemed Thranduil had yet to touch anything laid before him. "Are you not hungry? Come let us discuss matters over some breakfast." Thorin said sitting down at the small table, looking at Thranduil expectantly.

Thranduil shook his head at Thorin. "I'll stand." He said softly, something inside him forced him to stay tense and alert, sitting down made him feel vulnerable…if he wished to escape this room, escape from Thorin he wanted to do so as easily as possible. "There is not much for us to discuss, you have my son I want him back, and there is nothing more to say." He said simply eyeing the food and drink with distaste, the last time he had accepted something from Thorin he had been drugged.

"You know I asked you here because we have a dire need for supplies, when you cut off trading with us you damaged us greatly…you also cut of communication, I wouldn't have taken your son if you had but answered my correspondence with you." Thorin huffed.

"You speak as if you are oblivious to why I did so in the first place." Thranduil growled. "I have no desire to help you, I would sooner see you all perish than oblige you in any way…however, you have leverage on the situation so I am willing to give you what you need to survive the winter. The supplies you need I will give you, and in return you give me my son and cease all attempts to communicate with us further." Thranduil said.

Thorin shook his head at Thranduil. "It's not enough." He stated. "Every winter we relied on your trade to survive, our supplies have been depleted severely, the food on this table was obtained at great cost and I will not release your child until we have agreed to terms and conditions for a new trade negotiation." He said firmly. “We need a permanent solution not temporary aid.”

Thranduil looked away from Thorin. "I can't…you knew this would happen and yet you act so surprised by my actions regardless."

"I had no idea that this would happen!" Thorin yelled.

"No, you expected my people to suffer from the damaged you inflicted on my very soul! I told you that what you did could very well kill me in the end; I told you that it must be forgotten, if I am forced to communicate with you on a regular basis I will never forget! This situation alone is almost too much for me to bear, yet I am enduring it for my child…I am doing none of this for you or your people this is for Legolas and him alone." Thranduil said his head began to throb terribly from a deep reminder of his torture. "Your carefully planned revenge had unexpected repercussions I understand, but it doesn't concern me…ultimately this situation is your fault." Thranduil said looking away from Thorin it pained him to even look upon this dwarf.

"Don't patronize me!" Thorin practically screamed. "I don't care what I did to you, I reveled in your pain and given the chance I would do nothing differently! You survived for your son, not because of your avoidance of me, maybe avoiding me helped your sanity but it wasn't that keeping you alive."

Thranduil swallowed as a coldness crept over him, it was more unsettling than he thought it would be, he had never spoke of what happened to him and now speaking about the fact with the very person who had done such a thing in the first place made it unbearably…real. This was what he was trying to avoid, not necessarily Thorin, just the confirmation that he had been violated so brazenly. It made his chest ache as he took a few steps away trying to breathe as a pressure seemed to increase from within making it difficult to catch his breath.

"You understand nothing." Thranduil gasped out a shiver rippling through his body forcing him to unconsciously wrap his arms around himself. "I guess it really doesn't matter that it was you, what matters most is that it happened at all, but regardless I am left with a desire to hurt you the way you have hurt me not in the same way mind you but it seems your people suffering so does quell this burning desire for revenge quite nicely…but I am willing to put it aside for now for one final trade with you and your people I cannot allow more than that to transpire."

"You are the one who doesn't understand, you think I damaged your soul? Think about what I could do to your son, it's only you and your guard here to protect him, you wouldn't find him in time, or be able to stop me." Thorin said.

Thranduil turned cold deadly eyes at Thorin. "You will not touch my child Thorin Oakensheild…I would not hesitate to wage war against you, and with your depleted supplies and weakened people I wouldn't expect many of you to be spared." He growled.

"A war would do no good, by the time you rallied your forces Legolas would be completely destroyed…I would allow a legion of dwarfs to enjoy him, I take it he has never laid with another, I got the impression that I was the first male you ever experienced as well…how sweet it would be both the father and sons first." Thorin said a sneer forming on his lips.   
In all honesty Thorin had no intention of hurting Legolas, he truly wished no harm to come to young prince, but he was leverage, and if Thranduil believed these empty threats all the better to get what he needed in the end.

"You will not touch him!" Thranduil screamed, the tightness in his chest increased as his eyes temporarily blacked out and he fell to his knees. He felt sick but he knew he was going to lose himself if he did not regain control and he didn't want Thorin to be a witness to his momentary madness.

Thorin narrowed his eyes at Thranduil, he was acting a bit strangely as if he was ill or something was creeping upon him, the tremble in his frame was not masked and he now was kneeling on the floor. "You are not nearly as intimidating as you once were…I wonder now if you would beg me considering that I hold the one thing you care for more than your own self." Thorin said. "Would you beg for his life? His purity?"

Thranduil looked up at Thorin momentarily, his consciousness slipping out of his grasp, Thorin didn't understand, Thranduil was trying to remain, these feuded states Thranduil kept falling into were not safe, he had no control over himself…he needed to leave, he didn't wish to make this situation worse.

He stood up and stumbled slightly toward the door almost making it but his arm was seized by Thorin and something inside Thranduil snapped as he whirled around backhanding Thorin as hard as he could across the face. 

"Don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me! What right do you think you have!? I cannot…" Thranduil gasped a he slumped against the door gripping his head, 'not now, please not now!' he though desperately but upon feeling Thorin' hand upon his arm again it sent his mind into chaos. Fury took over his consciousness and consumed him completely.

"All your fault! This is all because of you…you think because you have my son that if gives you the right to threaten me, to threaten him…you're a fool…" Thranduil said in a low almost deathlike tone.

Thorin frowned. It was almost as if Thranduil wasn't speaking to him directly, more like he was talking to himself rather to anyone in particular. "Thranduil…"

"No, no, no, don't speak…I can't hear you, can't see you, you're not real…you're false so you cannot hurt me, cannot touch me…" Thranduil stood still gripping his head with one hand. "Can I hurt you though? If you are part of my fractured mind can I banish you away? If I remove you from my mind will I be granted some semblance of peace at long last?" Thranduil advanced on Thorin although Thorin quickly jumped from his reach.

"Have you completely lost your mind!?" Thorin yelled, what had happened to this elf? Had he finally driven him over the edge with threatening his son in such a way? He put the table in between him and Thranduil.

Thranduil took the tables edge flipping it over completely as plates and glasses shattered upon the floor and food splattered in different directions; he passed a free standing mirror taking a moment's pause to look at himself. "I thought I shatter them all…these mirrors I hate them…I hate my image." He growled slamming his fist into the mirror over and over until it cracked and fell into fragmented pieces on the floor. "This revolting and disturbed elf…trapped in these damned mirrors…I want so badly to escape from this pain, but you won't let me." Thranduil said his voice choking with tears. "Why won't you let me go?"

Thranduil fell to his knees the broken mirror and shattered dishes digging into his knees as he gripped the ground with his gloved hands. He looked at the gloves and slowly removed them. "Sending that robe to me was particularly cruel you know…I pressed the damned thing so hard into the fire I burnt myself rather badly, I loved that robe but you made it such a blatant symbol for what happened to me I had to destroy it…much the same way you destroyed me." Thranduil swallowed thickly. "Why didn’t you kill me?" Thranduil looked at him with tear filled eyes. "I would gladly die for my son if only to spare him the horror of what I have suffered…please." Thranduil said softly.

'What?' Thorin thought, did Thorin just hear him right? The situation was disturbing enough to Thorin so he barely registered Thranduil going to his knees and saying 'please' was he actually…begging? However his mind drifted to the burnt arms and hands, the bleeding knees, the pain filled voice…and those eyes, shinning lapis blue eyes so full of pain and suffering…so heartbreakingly beautiful as always, for some reason or another it actually pained him to see Thranduil like this. Which was odd, he had fantasized countless times about this beautiful suffering elf writhing beneath him, begging him…however with him now, with his true pain, Thorin didn't want to hurt him…reverence was not had in this moment.

Thorin knelt in front of Thranduil, balancing on the balls of his feet so not to have broken glass digging into his own knees. "I need your help, and I need the trade routes reestablished…you don't have to directly deal with me or Erebor you can pass the responsibilities to the prince or one of your trusted advisors." Thorin reached out intending to touch Thranduil gently on the shoulder but at the flinch he drew his hand back."Is that at all acceptable? Any price you ask will be met."

Thranduil without warning lunged at Thorin, grabbing handfuls of thick curly dark hair as he slammed Thorin’s head hard against the floor, over and over, hard enough to knock him unconscious. The attack was unexpected and it dazed Thorin his own vision temporarily blacking out. It surprised him very much that Thranduil would be so brazen to actually do something like this at all. Thorin grabbed Thranduil’s hands pulling them from his hair felling the strands break as they were torn out by the roots, he could tell Thranduil was not willing to listen to him at this moment, he was angry and volatile, and it was all directed toward him as he tried to parry the attacks to the best of his ability.

He wasn’t blind to the fact that Thranduil was not at all himself, something was wrong with his movements; he was not at all graceful or fluid in his proceedings he seemed to be stumbling and not thinking before he took action which was not at all the cool calculating King he remembered. Also Thranduil seemed to have no regard for himself, almost as if he felt no pain, the glass shards in his knees the broken fragments in his hands from smashing the mirror…he didn’t seem to care at all. Was this the product of what Thorin had done to him? The glazed look in Thranduil’s eyes made Thorin realize that the situation was not normal…he wasn’t even sure that this Elvin King knew what he was doing or saying.

“I will make you understand!” Thranduil yelled slamming his first hard across Thorin’s jaw line. “You will not hurt me again, I won’t allow it… I will end you before I will allow more pain.” Thranduil would have continued the mindless assault but Thorin managed to break his grasp and pull himself away from the attack. “Are you not satisfied…will nothing satisfy this lust and desire you have to hurt me? My child is innocent in this and yet you threaten him to catch me…you use him as a catalyst…” Thranduil took a few steps back away from Thorin.

“Am I not the source of sorrow?” He asked although in all honesty he wasn’t talking to Thorin he was speaking to himself. “You made me into this!” He lunged at Thorin again wanting to kill him wanting to stop the spiraling and throbbing in his chaotic and hazed mind, if he killed the thing that caused him such anguish would that stop his pain? Would anything stop this pain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to all my readers and my beta for helping me out so much with this chapter! Kudos and comments are always appreciated and answered so feel free to ask any questions!   
> Thanks to all who have bookmarked, gave kudos, and commented you are my inspiration!


	4. Survival Part II - Chapter 4

Title: Survival Part II – Chapter 3  
Chapter: 4 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Thranduil/Thorin (Past Tense)  
Rating: Mature/Explicit  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~ 

Warning: angst

 

***

Thranduil gripped a shard of glass in his hand, tightly holding the broken glass; even as blood began to seep from his clenched palm he made no motion to release or relax the clasp…he seemed to not even feel it. This concerned Thorin monumentally, Thranduil was actually willing to take such extremes to the conclusion of ending Thorin’s life…he wanted to kill him, and Thorin was sure that if he couldn’t put a stop to everything he would not be leaving this room alive.

Thorin called for his guards but if they heard they were not coming to his aid fast enough, he had to leap back as Thranduil swiped at him. Thorin felt a trail of fire slice across his forearm as red began to stain the white cloth, Thranduil was completely serious. When Thranduil dove at him again Thorin grabbed his wrist powerfully slamming the elf’s hand against the nearby wall forcing him to release the shard but that only seemed to irritate Thranduil more as he tackled the dwarf to the ground and began to beat him with his bare hands.

Thorin struggled madly with the seemingly insane elf as he shoved Thranduil as hard as he could so the pounding would stop. It send Thranduil backward although he regained his footing easily enough, picking up another shard to finish Thorin off, although before he could do anything he felt himself being lifted from the ground his wrists having been seized by a pair of powerful hands.

Thorin breathed sigh of relief upon seeing Thranduil's guard interrupt them, and stop Thranduil from hurting him any further as well as Thranduil continuing to hurt himself. He was surprised at how much Thranduil struggled with him, screaming at his guard to release him.

"Only one way! There is only one way! Let me go, I must make it stop!" He tried so hard to pull out of Aldewin's grasp but was unable to break his hold, Thranduil's hand still gripping the shard so hard more blood began dripping from his clenched palm. However, Aldewin was ancient, and much stronger than Thranduil which made his struggle futile but nonetheless didn't stop him.

"I cannot allow you to hurt yourself." Aldewin said through gritted teeth, although he was stronger than Thranduil it still pained him to be a witness to his own King so emotionally aggrieved, if he had waited one more moment he feared Thranduil might have succeeded in killing Thorin and that would cause war, Aldewin was certain of that outcome…he wasn’t sure of the reaction Thorin would have to the attack, he hoped that with their desperate need for supplies he would overlook this incident and not take any drastic measures.

Aldewin gritted his teeth tightly when Thranduil began to dig his nails into his skin trying to break his hold ripping the skin and drawing blood in his anger. Aldewin only tightened his hold on Thranduil, he could only wait for him to exhaust himself or come to his senses…last time Thranduil was this frantic Aldewin actually had to hit him hard enough to knock him unconscious, he hoped it wouldn't come to that doing it once in his lifetime was enough to give him millenniums of guilt over the matter. However he was so hysterical it was becoming harder to hold him.

"This is your entire fault Thorin! Did you delight so much in my anguish that you wished to see more!?" Thranduil screamed still trying out get out of Aldewin's grasp. "Was it not enough!?" He screamed until he felt an arm encircle his throat cutting off his air supply.

Aldewin closed his eyes and concentrated on Thranduil's breathing, he wasn't trying to kill him by any means but he could cut off his air long enough to make him pass out but not permanently harm him in the process. Aldewin hated doing this but Thranduil was volatile and he couldn't risk letting him go…it had to be done. Of course Thranduil fought him but it only lasted a few moments until he began to grow weaker as did his attack until his eyes closed and his body went limp. Aldewin instantly lessened his hold as Thranduil's unconscious body began to breathe swallows of air. Aldewin sighed relived he was able to diffuse the situation…at least for a moment. He allowed himself to relax as little still holding Thranduil close.

He looked at Thorin who seemed somewhat dumbstruck of the situation at hand. "You must forgive this mishap King under the Mountain. Our King had not been in the best health as of late…" Aldewin chose his words carefully. He had no idea what the two spoke about although he did know something in this place caused the break. He was worried but couldn’t allow it to show, this type of state no other was ever meant to see and Aldewin knew Thranduil never wished to show something so abhorrent and abnormal to a King of a foreign realm, least of all dwarfs.

"I…will he be all right?" Thorin asked and overwhelming sense of compassion overcoming him. Despite his slight brush with death at Thranduil’s hands he was still somewhat concerned, whatever just happened between them was not normal, and he even for a moment didn’t think it was Thranduil he was dealing with.

Aldewin looked at Thranduil's sleeping face. "He will be fine.” Aldewin said lifting Thranduil into his arms for a more appropriate position. He wasn’t sure what to say to Thorin at the moment as he noticed that Thorin hadn’t witnessed the scene unscratched. “You should have your wounds tended to…I will see to his majesty personally.” He straightened his back. “I apologize on his behalf, you should consider allowing him to see his son, the young prince calms his father and he is more likely to be flexible with your demands if he knows his child is safe…had you allowed him to see Legolas prior to this I doubt this would have happened.” Aldewin said.

“Perhaps.” Thorin said about to leave. “Your King is injured as well, please use our medical ward to tend to those injures…I insist.” He said making his way toward the infirmary pleased that the guard followed him without a word.

***

Thorin stood and silently watched the guard work on his King's various wounds, he refused to allow Thranduil to be touched by the dwarf healer, and he wasn't trying to be offensive simply that they were not as well versed in Elvin healing as he was and he would tend to his King. 'This elf Aldewin is very good with him' Thorin thought as he watched him mix different herbs and work them into the cuts and bruises Thranduil had obtained before wrapping them tightly with bandages. He didn't even pause when he removed Thranduil's breeches to gain aces to his bleeding knees, this elf really had no sexual interest in Thranduil and it actually put Thorin at ease considering he had thought earlier that the two were involved. Once the task was finished he mixed some ground herbs into a glass of water and although unconscious Thranduil still drank the contents some spilling but it seemed to be enough.

"You seem to know what you are doing. What was in the drink?" Thorin asked.

"A sleeping agent, he needs rest." Aldewin picked Thranduil up gently. "I am not an expert in apothecary, not a healer necessarily but still better qualified than your own…not to offend." He said.

"None taken." Thorin took a step closer to Thranduil. "I do not believe our talks can commence with your King in such a state…are you qualified to continue them?" He asked.

"I was given that authority yes, but let us not be hasty, his majesty will wake tomorrow and we will see how he fares, until then I think it best this incident is forgotten," Aldewin said seriously.

"You seem unnaturally calm about all this…he was screaming at me that everything that was happening to him was my fault and yet you don't seem angry." Thorin said a little confused at the guards behavior.

"This has happened before, they are like feuded states he usually doesn't remember what was said or done, he screamed at me once as well telling me everything was my fault…whoever he was fighting it wasn't me he was seeing, I don't trust anything he says when he does this." Aldewin said as he began to walk back to their quarters, looks like he would be sleeping in a chair again tonight.

***

Thorin went back to his own room his mind spinning from what had happened just an hour ago, Thorin himself was still trying to make sense of everything and he was hoping against all odds that Thranduil wouldn’t remember what was said and done. He hated to admit it but this guard Aldewin would be a dangerous liability if he ever learned to truth and Thorin would do everything in his power to keep that from happening.

Thorin stopped halfway to his room and turned around deciding to have a visit with Legolas, he needed more information on Thranduil’s state of mind, how broken he truly was…if possible was there some way to work this damage to his advantage? He didn’t like the idea of injuring the young prince nor did he enjoy having to confine him although it was unavoidable, he was almost sure that Legolas would not be very forthcoming with information given the situation but he needed to get as many facts as possible any detail might prove crucial to saving how own people.

***

Thorin dismissed the guards outside Legolas room, a little further away but close enough incase the young prince tried to escape. When he entered he wasn’t surprised by the venomous almost lethal stare directed straight at him. In that moment the defiance, the strength, the authority, he looked so much like his father it took him a moment before he remembered that this was Legolas not Thranduil.

“You have some nerve coming here…” Legolas growled. “I extended my hand in friendship and compassion; I was willing to do everything in my power to help you and your people and you…” Legolas stood to his full height glaring at Thorin. “You confine me to my room and force my father to deal in trade negotiations with you. Yet you refuse him the privilege of seeing me…I demand to see my father now.” He said sternly.

“Your father is in no condition to receive visitors right now…he had somewhat of a mental break during negotiations…what do you know of these feuded states?” Thorin asked almost casually as if he was commenting on the weather.

Legolas was confused for a moment. “Mental break? Is he all right? Is he injured?” Legolas asked frantically deeply concerned for his father worry overcoming him.  
“He’s fine, a few cuts and bruises but relatively all right. His guard gave him a sleeping potion so he’ll probably be resting for the rest of the day.” Thorin said seeing a wash of relief cross Legolas’ features.

Legolas knew his father’s guard well, Aldewin, and he also knew that as long as Aldewin was breathing no harm would come to his father. But he wasn’t sure what Thorin was talking about, feuded states? He composed himself as looked sternly at Thorin. “I’m not sure what you are talking about, to my knowledge he has never lost himself and caused himself harm…” Legolas stopped for a moment remembering, but a few days ago his father was in the infirmary and refused to speak as to why, was that what happened? 

Thranduil had destroyed his study and burned himself. “There was an incident a few days ago, he turned his study upside down, and for some reason he burned one of grandfathers robes hurting himself in the process…but I couldn’t tell you why.” Legolas said with a sigh.

‘Burned a robe?’ Thorin thought, it must have been Oropher's robe that Thorin had sent back to him, he had sent it to hopefully generate a response so they might come to an agreement and trade once more…he hadn’t expected it to actually cause Thranduil any harm, he had cherished that robe so much he had actually allowed Thorin to kiss him, and yet he had burned it. “It appears your father has not been completely candid about his health with you…his mentality is cause for concern.” Thorin said.

“Let me see him, or let me or him go home, if he is truly ill he cannot continue theses negotiations anyway and without his approval I cannot validate anything.” Legolas said trying to reason with Thorin.

“His guard Aldewin was given authority to continue the talks and come to a suitable agreement, I am hopeful that all this will be resolved in time and both you and your father can go home…I understand that you are angry with me and I have shown you a great disrespect however I am hopeful you will forgive me, I had no other choice.”

“Of course you had a choice, there is always a choice!” Legolas yelled at him. “You were desperate and I understand that, you made a choice but you made the wrong one…” Legolas said turning his back to him, telling him without words their conversation was over.

“Try and be patient Prince Legolas, soon both you and your father will be free to go.” Thorin said leaving.

***

Thranduil felt something cool and wet against his forehead, his head hurt terribly so it was a welcomed soothe as he slowly opened his eyes. He didn’t remember coming back to his room…however he did remember his confrontation with Thorin, at least he thought he had a confrontation with him, he remembered bits and pieces of what happened, and it wasn’t a complete blank this time.

He spotted Aldewin across the room, he looked preoccupied but Thranduil spoke anyway. “Aldewin.” He said catching the others attention who approached him immediately.

“I thought you would sleep longer…how are you feeling?” Aldewin asked.

“Fine, I feel a little numb. Thranduil said. “How did I get here?” He asked.

“I think you had a lapse in you meeting with Thorin, when I heard the raised voices I checked to make sure everything was all right yet you had hurt yourself again…” Aldewin paused he wasn’t going to readily admit to Thranduil he had cut off Thranduil’s air supply so he would pass out.

“I remember some of what happened this time…” Thranduil said sitting up in bed. “I simply didn’t remember coming here.” He went over to the bureau and dressed himself in more appropriate clothes not caring that Aldewin was there or not.

Aldewin looked at Thranduil confused. “You remember?” He asked. “If you recall maybe you could help me to understand what happened?” He said through gritted teeth. Thranduil had tried to kill Thorin, it was a mere miracle that Aldewin managed to stop him in time, it made sense if Thranduil was not in control of his actions but he immediately stated that he was at least somewhat aware.

Thranduil looked at Aldewin who appeared deeply upset, he rarely saw his stoic guard expressive, yet at this instant he didn’t have the ability to be emotionally moved by the situation. “…I wanted it to stop…” Thranduil said turning to meet Aldewin’s gaze. 

“How long has it been now? The long hours in deep meditation which I have increased over time, these feuded states which have become more violent and frequent, my inability to form any type of relationship friendship or otherwise not counting the friends I have lost…a little over three years Aldewin and I know you have noticed how much I have changed.” Thranduil paused for a moment. “I do not like this person whom I have become, I am exhausted with the pretense that everything is all right that everything will be fine because it simply isn’t, and nothing has been okay for years…it was foolish of me to think that I would be.”

Aldewin wanted to approach Thranduil but stayed where he was, not wanting to set Thranduil off by accident. “So you meant everything you said to Thorin, that it was his fault? He caused you some type of anguish?” Aldewin asked studying his Kings face but not seeing any type of emotion or reaction. “Three years ago was the celebration of Erebor which you had attended, you had come home early without your entourage, cut off all ties with Erebor about the same time as well…if Thorin is really the cause, whatever happened it took place then.” Aldewin said, he wanted to know what happened but he didn’t wish to ask anymore than he already had.

Thranduil looked away from Aldewin. “Why do you want to know so badly? Do you think I would help me in some way?” Thranduil shrugged. “You might be right, after all keeping it inside has had some dire consequences to my mentality, attempting murder a prime example of that…” Thranduil paused momentarily. 

“Oh, now I remember you stopped me from that, you also strangled me until I passed out. I suppose it was a more appealing alternative to hitting me.” Thranduil said with slight tilt of his head.

“I am sworn to protect you, even if that means protecting you from yourself.” Aldewin stated simply prepared to do whatever it took to defend Thranduil’s life at all and any cost. “You seem much better now than before.” Aldewin said despite himself, trying to defend his actions regardless.

“I understand…I want to hurt him, I want him to suffer as he has made me suffer. The fate that he and his people are facing now does not quell this need it’s almost to the point where I would allow his people to perish if only to see the anguish upon his face.” Thranduil said his tone taking on a darker passion than Aldewin had ever heard before.

Aldewin did approach Thranduil at this point. “I would not try and prevent you from vengeance.” He paused. “That’s what this is all about isn’t it? You are merely trying to rectify the wrongs committed against you; I will not stand in your way of that.”

Thranduil nodded slowly to the statement Aldewin made. “He tried to kill me at that celebration…he hated me for abandoning his people to Smuag, and for something I said before Erebor fell, it must had festered over time so much that it was simply too agonizing and he lashed out. He didn’t hold a blade to my throat or a knife to my back, he sought to kill me in a slowest and most painful was he could imagine…he thought a quick death was not befitting of a King, that I deserved a long drawn-out struggle so he scared my soul so deeply…there are few things that can actually kill an elf…he knew that raping me was the best way to get the results he wanted.” Thranduil said leaning against the nearby wall but refusing to make eye contact with Aldewin.

Aldewin went ridged when he heard what his King said. He had finally confessed what had happened to him, finally confronted the pain he and suffered and allowed someone else to know…but he didn’t look better for it in fact he looked worse. “You should have told me Thranduil, told someone what was the point in keeping silent about this for so long?”  
“Self preservation.” He said simply turning to look into the jet-black eyes of his guard. “If I came to terms with this I feared it would ultimately kill me, I wanted it to be forgotten so I could continue with my life and to not burden my child with early kingship as I was…I don’t know if I can survive like this much longer.” Thranduil voice choked with tears that he refused to let fall. “I couldn’t forget.”

“You having survived thus far is proof that this will not destroy you, this is merely the next stage in you healing which is admitting that this had happened and confronting the one who hurt you…you denied it for so long now it’s time to accept it.” Aldewin said.

“And what am I to do? I won’t forgive him, I can’t do that.” Thranduil said shaking his head ‘no’ “He still has my son too, I cannot stand the thought of Legolas being hurt because of me but he wants so much from Mirkwood too much and I don’t want to be forced to interact with him…I want him out of my life since I cannot seem to push him out of mind.”  
“I don’t think he will hurt Legolas, not really, if he was going to injure the prince I’m sure with the recent event he would have already…true they are using him as a type of leverage but I believe he is safe.” Aldewin said taking one step closer to Thranduil being cautious with his King. “I’m not so sure we have any other option than for now to grant his requests for aid, I understand your position Thranduil, not many would want to interact with someone who caused so much pain but for now I believe its unavoidable…granting his request would not be for him but for his people and for your son.” Aldewin said.

“If I grant these requests I believe he would abuse my generosity, honestly I only want my son back and I have no desire to trade with him further, Erebor should have prepared for this type of famine…Thorin burned his bridge with Mirkwood, why must I be the one to rebuild it?” Thranduil grit out.

Aldewin let out a sigh, he wasn’t sure what to say to Thranduil at this point, he didn’t want to bombard him with questions or know the details of his assault but he seemed coherent enough to take whatever steps necessary to finish this. “I need your word that you will never try something so foolish again, if I need to watch you constantly I will.” He said.

Thranduil glanced at Aldewin momentarily. “Confronting Thorin was more difficult than even I anticipated, and being so close to him forced everything I have been denying myself to feel to resurface all at once and it overwhelmed me …you have my word.” Thranduil said looking toward his chamber door knowing he had to see Thorin again whether or not he wanted to.

“Deliver a message to Thorin that I wish to meet him here…and that I apologize for my earlier actions.” Thranduil said sitting down near the fireplace.

“Very well…do you wish for me to stay by your side during this?” Aldewin asked before leaving.

“…No, I think it best I do this by myself.” Thranduil had hesitated but he still believed what he said.

***

Thorin was in his study when he was informed Aldewin had a message from his King. He was a little surprised that Thranduil even wanted to see him but he could not mistake the hate and anger emanating from his guard nor disregard it. He looked at Aldewin curiously for a moment before he asked.

“You seem rather hostile toward me at the moment, you behavior from earlier toward me has certainly changed.” Thorin said standing.

Aldewin clenched his fists doing his best to contain his anger and not lash out at the King. “Were we not here in this mountain and we had met upon neutral ground I would challenge you to reclaim my King’s honor.” He grit out.

Thorin was surprised, had Thranduil finally let someone know the secret? “King Thranduil has lost no honor to me regardless of what has happened between us. I wanted to reduce him to make him beg but he never yielded never begged…he never faltered, never wavered in his conviction. I gained nothing and he remained.” Thorin said using a deep foreboding tone.

“You think your actions didn’t affect him?” Aldewin said in disbelief. “How can you say that after what you witness but a few hours ago? He is miserable and you are the reason for all of it, the only reason he is still pushing forward is because of Legolas…I implore you to release the young prince or allow the simple grace of allowing him to see his child has not been harmed, it will ground him and allow these demands of yours to be met with more ease.” 

“I know well enough that child is his anchor to this land, but he is also my only leverage so I cannot release him yet not until I ensure my line can I return his.” Thorin said.  
“He will not be very forthcoming, he remembers much that he said to you and did…most of the time he doesn’t but before he attacked you I’m sure your talks did not end well and he remembers.” Aldewin said.

Thorin looked at Aldewin for a moment, those shinning black eyes seeming to bore into his soul and they burned with such an intense anger it made Thorin curious. “You love him, don’t you?” He said seeming to startle the guard, that impassive mask fell but it was only for moment. “There really is no need to become jealous.”

Aldewin growled. “I’m not jealous, and regardless of what you think I am not in love with him either. He is my King and I do hold him in close regard as a friend but I’m not in love with him…and even if I was what matter would it hold in you?” Aldewin asked wondering what prompted such an accusation.

“I’ve often been curious if your race is even capable of love, sometimes I think I hate Thranduil so much for everything he has done that it’s turned into some kind of twisted love for him.” Thorin shook his head. “I have permanently ruined any type of relationship with him, I realize that, but I still hope that a political relationship might still be possible…if you care for him as much as you claim to then I hope you might b able to convince him that if he wishes to see Legolas again a new trade agreement is in his best interest.” Thorin said about to leave but turned to Aldewin once more before he left.

“I might be blind to exactly how I feel about Thranduil…it’s such a thin line between love and hate and I believe it even possible to feel both at the same time. I have no intention to hurt him like I did so many years ago, I would never dare, but it seems your King has his heart set on hurting me…he hates me and I know that, but it is really a…Very. Thin. Line.” Thorin said punctuating the last few words before walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the earlier review left by Ane, you can only delete a comment when you are actually registered and do not leave a review anonymously. In all honesty I could remove the comment myself but I'm not inclined to do that, I like to keep all the reviews I get, even yours. Please do not use my review page to apologize to me or other people, send an email or something of that sort my review page is not a forum. I would have told you all this in an email myself, but you are not a registered user so I can't contact you any other way than this.
> 
> To my other readers I apologize for placing this on my update, I needed to explain a few things but regardless I do hope you enjoyed chapter four and as always comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and comments will always be responded to, feel free to ask any questions!
> 
> Thanks to all my readers who give such wonderful feedback!


	5. Survival Part II - Chapter 5

Title: Survival Part 2  
Chapter: 5 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Thranduil/Thorin Thranduil/Aldewin(OC)  
Rating: R/NC-17/Mature  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~ 

Warning: angst

I managed to give you guys some Thorinduil! Hope you like it!  
AUTHOR QUESTION AT END OF FIC, PLEASE READ!

***

Thranduil waited patiently for Thorin to arrive, he knew the Dwarf King would not delay too long; the invitation alone would supply enough curiosity to compel him to visit. Thranduil actually felt lighter than before, his heart was not as heavy or his chest as tight…he was still angry of course considering Thorin was still holding his son hostage. And of course he still felt a great apprehension at being alone with Thorin, but he was fairly certain Thorin would not attempt a second assault, at least not when his peoples lives were in jeopardy. Thranduil still only remembered some of what he said and did while with Thorin and he hoped that he had not said or done anything to agitate the situation more than it already was.

The doors to his room opened loudly and then closed as Thorin presented himself in a manner only befitting of a King as he approached Thranduil but did not come closer than arms length. “You seem in a more clear state of mind now, have you rethought my earlier proposal?” He asked seemingly willing to forget what happened in the study.

“I meant everything I said to you in that study, that re-opening trade will affect me negatively and possibly make things more difficult than you anticipate…but I also realize that if I deny your request you will not return my son to me as requested unless I do exactly that, while I have reconsidered my earlier answer there will be limits to this trade that I cannot negotiate.” He said firmly willing to compromise there really was no other option he had at this point.

“What will these limitations be?” Thorin asked skeptically.

“When I cut off ties with Erebor I branched out to my own kin in Lothlorien and Imladris, all of my trading for goods and services has been with them, our relations are sensitive at this time so I have been somewhat overly generous with my shipments as a gesture of good faith. You must understand that they will receive the best crops and supplies I have to offer, and they will receive it first…Erebor will be a secondary option at all times I will have to see to the needs of my kin before yours.” Thranduil paused seeing a rather displeased expression on Thorin’s face but continued. “In light of you plight during this time I will provide you with everything you need and I will provide you the best we have to offer, my kin will understand this but after this…famine has ceased and your economy is back to a more stable state then trading will reduce and will not be as abundant. I cannot completely disregard the new trading with my kin in favor of Erebor, if I could avoid you completely I would.” Thranduil said turning his back to Thorin while still keeping an eye on him.

Thorin growled, it was quite less than he wanted but still it was progress. “I will agree to these terms but with a small stipulation to re-negotiate at a later date…Mirkwood is a very valuable partner that we lost, it will take time to establish trading with our own kin and the race of men, we need your help until other options have been established.” Thorin said.  


Thranduil thought for a moment then nodded “Very well…my stipulation is that you never contact me directly, you never make the attempt to see me or gain an audience with me, *you* will keep your distance from *me*. I don’t ever what to hear from you personally ever again after this, I will leave full authority to my son who is more than capable of carrying out these duties…and if you ever once mention what happened between us to anyone, even if it is said by someone other than yourself , if that…incident is somehow leaked and it become public knowledge it will not only be trading that will be destroyed, I will wage war on this mountain…and I will end my life after I see yours ended.” Thranduil paused for a moment. “You simply don’t understand the repercussions of your actions that day, you made such a tiny ripple that grew to monumental proportions, so large you had no idea how to handle them…and personally neither do I.” Thranduil said softly. 

“This seems to be the first step in dealing with it…” Thorin walked around a bit looking at Thranduil intently as he did so, he still couldn’t get over how much he had changed and yet stayed the same, he was perfectly flawless on the outside, but on the inside he was completely different. “You needn’t have any further contact with me beyond this point but do you think it wise to do so? Your guard told me of these feuded states you keep having…” Thorin was cut off.

“Those are your fault! I have more anger and pain than I can express, I want to hurt you to scar your soul as you did mine, but I can’t! You’ve managed to seal yourself from my wrath and thirst for vengeance but nonetheless it needed some type of escape, one that I was not able to abide so it bypassed me completely.” Thranduil turned to face him fully. “I’ve been wondering why you sent me my father’s robe, you kept my crown and my rings…yet you returned the robe, why would you purposely send me a reminder of that day why do you continually want to hurt me?”

“I needed to generate some type of response from you, anything to get you to respond to our correspondents and letters…I wasn’t supposed to hurt you, I had hopes that you actually wanted to have that robe back, it surprised me that you would actually burn it. You risked your own well being so that I wouldn’t destroy it.” Thorin said.

“At the time I didn’t want it destroyed…but it proved itself nothing but folly in the end, a blatant reminder of what you did to me and nothing more, I couldn’t tolerate it so I destroyed it.” Thranduil paused for a moment. “I destroyed a lot of things, mirrors, a few of my journals, many other robes that had nothing to do with you at all, I’ve broken furniture, and turned rooms completely upside down and the most terrible thing is I don’t even remember doing these things…but I remember most of my fight with you, maybe for once I was actually attacking the source.”

“Does it make you feel better?” Thorin asked looking at Thranduil intently. “Did assaulting me make your stress lessen any, make you feel good for the first time in what I’m sure has been a long time.” Thorin asked.

Thranduil wasn’t sure how it made him feel, in all honesty his mind was so lost during the time he couldn’t very well justify his actions so how was he supposed to feel? “You think it would make me feel good?” Thranduil shook his head at Thorin a look of pity in his eyes. “I’m not you Thorin, I’m nothing like you and I never will be…I simply cannot derive pleasure from hurting someone else no matter how much I might want to and how much they deserve it and don’t think it would make me feel *good* if I happened to give them what is due.”

Thranduil paused for a few minutes. “I do want some type of retribution for the wrongs you committed against me Thorin…I can think of a million different ways of making you pay for what you have done but do not make the mistake of thinking that any of these things will make me feel good…nothing can heal what you have done and I want that guilt to wrack your soul and suffer like I do.” Thranduil said.

Thorin scoffed at this. “You think I feel guilty for what I did? I don’t, I can’t…you taught me that a King must be absolute in all his decisions and actions without a thought thereafter, like when you insulted me so long ago, abandoned my people to the fire and dragon rage, imprisoned me and my people in your dungeon…you feel no remorse for all of that, why should I feel guilty for my *one* act of violence?” Thorin said.

Thranduil narrowed his eyes at Thorin. “For all my transgressions against you there is no comparison between them!” Thranduil yelled angrily. “You can try and defend what happened all you like but there is no justification to be had! This is what makes you so insufferable! Why I cannot have contact with you, why I tried so hard to forget, why I keep of having the lapses in my memory…!” Thranduil trailed off a bit tears stinging the back of his eyes as the all too familiar tight sensation in his chest returned and his head began to throb. He couldn’t seem to stay calm for long when Thorin was near despite his attempts. 

Thranduil took a few deep breaths trying to stave off his anger and pain, also not get into another fight with Thorin yet again. “Draw up a contract…once read I will sign and you will give me back my son, there is no further need for us to correspond face to face ever again after this.” Thranduil said without looking at Thorin. 

Thranduil never wanted to see Thorin again, he decided that long ago, and this forced interaction was almost too much for his psyche to bear although in some ways it did lessen his stress it also left him with this sickly sensation of being violated all over again considering he was practically being forced to come to terms with it all at long last.  


Thorin sighed. “I’ll have the contract by the morning; I’ll be waiting for you in my study when you are ready come by to sign…you’ll get your son back as soon as our first trade shipment comes in, think of it as a gesture of good faith.” Thorin said.

Thranduil growled at the fact Thorin still would not allow him his child back until he received physical tangible aid, he would not even grant him the option to see Legolas until he was absolutely positive their agreement would be honored. It was insulting to Thranduil that Thorin thought so little of him that he believed he would break a written contract, which he would never do so matter who it was with, he had given his word and he would not go back on it.

***

Thorin went back to his study and gave specific orders and instructions on the written contract which would be the binding force to keep trading with Mirkwood a continuous supply partner. He spoke with his council for hours and he made sure that every draft was read carefully and worded specifically so no mistake or ambiguity could be used as a way to discontinue the agreement, it was very late when Thorin was finally satisfied with what had been the final draft as he sent it to a calligraphy artist to placed upon official parchment and make it a certified contract document. He had to make sure that Thranduil’s word would be honored, the contract was simply a formality in all honesty but imprinted with the Kings seal which forced a more amicable agreement when signed. Thorin couldn’t risk there be any room for the contract to be voided, he had to be certain so the famine plaguing his people would never happen again.

Thorin sighed deeply as he went to his bedroom and sat down heavily upon the feather mattress it sinking below his weight as he relaxed a little into the coverlets. He hadn’t realized until that point how tense he was, the tension in his body melted away when he was freed of the constant concern for his people’s lives. The supplies would be sent and they would survive the winter, it might take a year before their economy would be stable once more but the threat of their lives was no longer a concern. All that needed to be done now was receive the first shipment and send Thranduil and the other elf’s back home and from there he could focus on his own once more. Thorin retired to his bed with the hopes of a dreamless sleep.

***

Thorin spent a good portion of the night tossing and turning seemingly unable to find rest, things didn’t progress with Thranduil as he had hoped they would. His first duty was toward his people but now that the initial threat of starvation had been taken care of he had hoped to approach Thranduil. Not approach him intimately, Thorin was unsure in what capacity he wished to advance with Thranduil in all honesty…but now it was impossible for he had promised to never seek contact directly with him again, never see him again, never speak with him, never be granted any form of communication…never have any chance with him in any capacity ever again.

Thorin threw off the bed covers and rose going to the washroom unable to find sleep as he originally hoped as he quickly bathed and after placing a heavy robe on went toward his balcony thinking some fresh air might do him good. But as soon as he stepped out onto the landing he felt his breath caught in his throat at the figure that awaited him.

Thorin stood in awe at the beautiful elf standing upon his balcony bathed in the moonlight and shining like the stars in the sky, skin as white as milk, a sheer silken robe wrapped around his lithe form and lapis blue eyes offset by his dark eyebrows and thick eyelashes, hair like pale honey spilled across his shoulders and flowing down his back…his beauty never ceased to amaze Thorin. He had always been captivated by that beauty so ethereal in its natural ease that Thorin had always thought he could acquire such a grace but he never could, so possessing one of them seemed the most logical course of action instead. Thranduil was that grace which he hoped to possess. 

He made the motion to speak but soft fingertips placed themselves on his lips telling him without words, that now was not the time to speak. The soft fingers slowly traced the outline of his mouth slowly tracing his neckline before resting on the back of his head gently stroking his wavy hair.

Thorin didn’t hesitate to embrace Thranduil, pulling the elf to his knees so their height would be more evenly matched, upon his knees Thranduil actually had to look up to Thorin for once. Thorin cupped that beautiful face and kissed him gently upon the lips, he brushed his fingers across the flawless smooth skin and pulled him closer to his body…but it was gentle not forceful, he was not angry or aggressive with his actions, if anything they were timid motions and curious exploration. It was almost as if he was touching him for the first time and everything was new and exciting in this moment. Thranduil was not resisting this to Thorin’s amazement as he grew bolder and pulled him closer until they were flush against one another.

That beautiful mouth moving against his own, those soft lips parting ever so slightly as he was allowed the privilege to delve inside and taste that thick milk and sweet honey once more. This experience was divine; he craved this more than he thought possible. To have Thranduil so easily submit to him, the silken robe falling off his shoulders as he was laid bare to Thorin, the soft moonlight their only illumination. Thorin slowly began to shed his own clothing as Thranduil leaned forward to kiss the newly exposed skin, the soft lips and the occasional heat of his tongue was driving Thorin to the brink of insanity, this was true bliss, he knew in this exact moment that this is what he wanted from Thranduil, not to force him as he had years ago but to have him willingly in his arms, to have this elf want him…the same as Thorin wanted him.

He threaded his fingers through the silken strands of Thranduil’s hair as the elf continued to lavish sweet kisses all over his body moving lower until he felt a pair of soft moist lips kiss the tip of his arousal and beautiful shinning lapis blue eyes looked up at Thorin, earnestly pleading for permission to please him. Thorin silently nodded to the request as his ears heard the sweetest words spoken like a breath of wind.

“Thank-you”

The wet heat that enveloped his arousal forced him to moan in pure pleasure. The beautiful naked elf on his hands and knees, servicing Thorin’s hard member, outside on this balcony, where anyone could view the skeptical, it was all so exciting and stimulating. Thranduil’s tongue wrapped around the shaft in his mouth gently sucking and taking Thorin deeper and deeper until he was able to take him fully to the hilt, moaning deeply at the achievement which sent soft yielding vibrations through Thorin’s shaft. It was a marvelous experience to have Thranduil so willing, this elf wanted to service him wanted to please him and Thorin wanted to let him do exactly that.

“Let me have you, even if it is only for this one night...let me be with you.” Thorin pleaded kissing Thranduil on the lips passionately.

Thranduil reluctantly let the hardened member slip from his lips as he turned around presenting himself to Thorin to be used. “Please take me, use me for your pleasure…please.” The charming pleading words pure ecstasy to Thorin’s ears.

Thorin didn’t hesitate to push Thranduil down onto his stomach and straddle his waist, hastily widening the creamy thighs and grasping the fair round globes of his buttocks spreading them open for his entry. The tight rosebud twitched in anticipation and Thorin pressed forward the head of his arousal breaking through the tight ring of muscles tearing out a cry of pleasure from Thranduil and a moan of enjoyment from Thorin.

It seemed as if no preparation was needed, probably due to Thorin’s shaft previously been in Thranduil’s mouth, but he dismissed the thought entirely and thrust forward. Thranduil’s body was tight and so very inviting as he picked up his pace and he could hear the sweet cries of pleasure and soft mewls pouring from Thranduil’s lips as he writhed and twisted underneath Thorin in delight.

Thorin wished he could spend the entire night making love to Thranduil but he knew he couldn’t last much longer as he pulled Thranduil to his hands and knees while continuing to thrust his hips as he reached underneath Thranduil’s body grasping his member and began to stroke him in time with his own rocking.

Thorin leaned close to Thranduil’s delicately pointed ear. “Reach satisfaction with me; let us reach our completion as one.” He breathed heavily as Thranduil shakily nodded his head in agreement.

It did not take long before he felt a tremble ripple through Thranduil’s frame as his body tightened signaling he was close as Thorin made a few more expert strokes a he himself rose to the occasion and they simultaneously released, their cries of orgasm filling the night as they collapsed together in a tangle of arms and legs simply gazing at one another longingly.

Thorin smiled and was about to speak but at that moment Thranduil turned his face away rolling over on his side, his back to the dwarf. Thorin looked at him confused. What was wrong? Had Thranduil not come here of his own free will? Had he not wanted this, and if so why did he allow it to continue, why not put a stop to it?

“What is wrong?” He asked sitting up from his position, he reached out to touch Thranduil but quickly drew his hand away, his eyes widening in shock at what he was now seeing.  
Sickly yellow and blue bruises began to form on the once flawless skin. They began to litter his back and show dominantly on his hips his ribs. Cuts soon became visible on his arms and wrists as blood slowly began to pour from the wounds, a sudden smear of blood appearing between Thranduil’s legs. His hair became dull and matted, clear trails of tears marred that beautiful face, his lips cut and swollen. Scratch and bite marks upon his chest and neck. Thorin was so horror stricken he couldn’t seem to move as the elf slowly sat up to meet his gaze.

“This…this isn’t real.”He whispered as the elf looked at him puzzled.

“Yes it is.” Thranduil said softly. “This happened the last time you touched me, you brought nothing but ruin to my body and nearly destroyed my sanity completely. You know this you understand it too and although you know how much pain you caused me you still seek me out so desperately…but you offer me nothing but *this*” Thranduil said staring into Thorin’s eyes intently. “You remember even revere it somewhat, in the deepest most secluded place of your mind you know you should simply leave me be…I implore you to do exactly that.” Thranduil pleaded with Thorin. “Do what you know to be right.”

The elf disappeared from Thorin’s sight as he jolted awake in bed. Thorin’s breath was coming in heavy gasps and it took him a good few minutes before he managed to get his breathing back under control. Once he had managed to calm himself down he fell back into his bed the strange dream confusing him, it had started out so wonderful yet it turned into such a disturbing reality…and although he knew it was a dream he still found himself contemplating what Thranduil had said. He wanted Thorin to leave him alone, to simply stay away from Thranduil…but that notion truly bothered Thorin, he still held a desire to see the elf, no matter the consequences of that.

Could he do what was right? Could he force himself to stay away from Thranduil? The dream had been so wonderful to have Thranduil willingly be with him and any and all thoughts of controlling the elf had vanished and he was left with an overpowering desire to hold Thranduil like a lover would not as he had those few years ago…he was wrong, he had deeply wounded Thranduil and if possible wished to make some type of amends to help heal this elf in some way. Even if Thranduil never accepted him, it was worth trying.

***

Thranduil sat curled up upon his bed, Aldewin had come to check up on him not long after Thorin had left, Thranduil was grateful for the distraction, his mind and his heart felt as if they were in a vice…but somehow Aldewin had a soothing effect on him, probably because Thranduil felt safe with Aldewin near and even with Thranduil’s apprehension at its peak, Aldewin could always calm him. He felt the heat of Aldewin’s hand come up to brush away a stray tear that managed to escape, he said nothing though which was a blessed release to Thranduil. Aldewin now knew the secret he had been harboring do long, so no explanation was needed about his strange behavior and mood swings, his feuded states, everything was now clear, he wouldn’t have to clarify how or why with Aldewin he knew and it somehow made things easier.

“He said a treaty will be drawn up by morning, and all I need to do is sign it and my son will be returned to me.” Thranduil said leaning against Aldewin somewhat. “We will probably be forced to wait until some shipments arrive before he will return Legolas…he should believe my word that supplies will be sent, I have never deceived him before.” Thranduil said.

“He is forced to be careful with you, considering your history with one another he has no choice but to be overly cautious.” Aldewin allowed his arms to pull Thranduil a little closer to embrace him gently. “I’m not defending his actions, I simply understand it.” 

Thranduil relaxed in the warmth that his friend offered at the moment, the embrace was so welcoming and sincere, and he wanted to simply lose himself in this gentle warmth. He stayed like he was leaning against the strong broad chest, Aldewin’s rich baritone voice reassuring him in all aspects of himself, that all would be well which was exactly what Thranduil needed to hear, needed to believe. 

He felt Aldewin’s lips gently press against his forehead. Thranduil remembered those soft lips from the one night he had shared with Aldewin, warm sweet kisses bestowed upon him seemingly endless from a night that was barely a distant memory. He could feel the brush of Aldewin’s hot breath across his neck which made him shiver slightly; he truly hated how weak he was to his own selfish body’s reaction to the proximity of their bodies, specifically with someone he had such a close relationship with. It had been very long since he had felt a desire for anyone, the thought had never crossed his mind he might as well have been impotent, never even enjoying his own touch much less someone else’s…so why now? 

The night Aldewin and Thranduil shared was never meant to be repeated, but would it be so terrible if it was? Thranduil couldn’t resist the silent question as he pulled on the lapels of Aldewin’s tunic to bring him down for a soft bush of the lips. The last time Thranduil had kissed him he had been equally surprised, but he wasn’t nearly as resistant to the proposal as before. Strong arms embraced him tighter and encircled Thranduil’s waist as the gentle brush of lips deepened between the two into the same passionate kiss he had loved from his faithful protector, his mentor, his friend…would it be so terrible if he loved him?

Thranduil wished he could accept Aldewin’s kindness, accept this comfort, but he feared it would be nothing but a mistake so he pulled away from him. It wasn’t so much that he wasn’t fond of Aldewin, Aldewin was noble and a great warrior and a more than wonderful friend…so how could he possibly shame him by wanting him? His life his body was tainted, his didn’t wish his own shame and humiliation to stain Aldewin as well. It wasn’t fair; he never should have kissed him! Thranduil was caught up in his own turmoil he barely heard the soft apology from Aldewin and it made him look at Aldewin shocked.

“What?” Thranduil asked wanting to make sure he heard him right.

“I apologize.” Aldewin said taking a step back. “You’re upset and distressed with all the happenings as of late, I should have been so presumptuous to think you would actually want…” Aledwin trailed off shaking his head. “I’m sorry; it won’t happen again I swear.” Aldewin himself had been surprised that Thranduil had kissed him but the sweet temptation was almost unbearable and he couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him back, but as soon as Thranduil pulled away he knew it had been a mistake, he was simply caught up in the moment.

“Don’t apologize…why do you always do that, you blame yourself for something I instigated, if I didn’t want to kiss you I wouldn’t have.” Thranduil said looking away from Aldewin. “I didn’t stop because I didn’t want it…you are too kind and I’d rather not take advantage of you.”

Aldewin softened a little. “I could never allow that to happen, regardless of my devotion to you I still have my pride. I did kiss you back after all…” He knelt in front of Thranduil. “Was it awful?” He asked leaning closer to Thranduil allowing his breath to mingle with Thranduil’s. “You taste exactly like I remember, warm lips and sweet breath with a passion as thick as milk and as sweet as honey…I never forgot, nor did I allow it to ruin us and what we have.” He whispered gently into Thranduil’s ear his lips gently bushing against it every so often.

“I would ruin you…I am damaged, spoiled, it is not fair to embrace me out of kindness and comfort as before. I need more than that, I want more than that and it is simply too much and too selfish of me to bring shame upon you.” Thranduil said hiding his face in his hands. He couldn’t withstand a fleeting night of passion with Aldewin once more, this was different he needed a more stable support. His heart and mind desperately craved to be loved and to be healed from all the damage he had suffered, but he couldn’t bear to take even more from Aldewin than he already had.

“You are not ruined.” Aldewin said strongly. “Beautiful even with any imperfection you think you might have, do not think me so shallow to not see your true self…allow me to be more for you, be everything you need, this feeling could never be shameful.” Aldewin paused for a moment to look into Thranduil’s eyes, polished black meeting lapis blue. “Tell me it feel’s wrong and I will say no more…but if it feels right why can we not explore this emotion together?”

Thranduil felt tears well in his eyes, how is it that this noble elf cared so much for him? Aldewin knew the secret that Thranduil had harbored for so long and yet he still wanted to be here beside him, wanted to be what Thranduil needed…could he truly be Thranduil’s everything?

“Could you love me? Do not answer too quickly.” Thranduil said placing his fingertips on Aldewin’s lips. “It is not something to be taken lightly, I cannot have my heart broken, and I need it mended…it will not be easy, for either of us, I trust you…but I still fear losing you regardless.” Thranduil said.

Aldewin smiled and gently kissed Thranduil’s fingertips. “You ask such ridiculous questions sometimes Thranduil… how could I not love you? I always have and always will. You will never lose me no matter what the world has in store for us in the future, I will be by your side through it all…it is a privilege to love you, I gladly pledge my heart to you Thranduil Oropherion. I am yours now and always.”

Thranduil let a few happy tears slip down his cheeks his hear filling with such a joyful emotion he at first wasn’t sure what he was feeling it had been so long since he had been so happy. He embraced Aldewin in a loving hold.”And I to you Aldewin Orionion, I am yours now and always.”

***

Thanks for reading! Sorry this chapter took so long, I was pretty sick for the last few weeks but I’m all better now and my brain is working again! Huza! Kudos are greatly appreciated and comments are supremely valued and always responded to, so please feel free to ask any questions!

Now for my question to you readers, I was curious if you would like a love scene between Aldewin and Thranduil, I’m a little hesitant to write a love scene with my OC unless it’s wanted, I realize I’ve already taken a risk in putting the two into a relationship but Aldewin just seems to be exactly what Thranduil needs especially with Thorin still looming around. Let me know!

P.S. – if you haven’t already please check out my new fic ‘Eternal’ written by me and XxIrisxX, if you’re not sure about a love scene with Thranduil and Aldewin read this fic, which tells of their first time together.


	6. Survival Part II - Chapter 6

Title: Survival Part 2  
Chapter: 6 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Thranduil/Thorin, Thranduil/Aldewin  
Rating: R-NC-17 / Mature  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst

 

***

 

Thorin was unable to fall asleep after the appalling nightmare he had with Thranduil. It still left him with the awful sense of guilt that he had yet to feel toward his actions until recently. It was a strange emotion, as a King Thorin refused to regret anything, he felt to be the strong King his people needed he had to be absolute in all his actions and decisions which left no room for guilt or regret…but he was unable to shake the feeling which made him reflect a little more on the night than he ever cared to.

He had wanted to hurt him, to make him repent and apologize for all the wrongs he had committed against him and his kin, it had been a selfish vendetta and Thorin knew that but in the moment he could think of nothing but making the arrogant elf kneel before him and yield…but he had refused, Thranduil was so adamant to never submit and he stayed true to that conviction. However, he was different now he was cautious and guarded he wouldn’t allow Thorin to close, that vibrant light that Thorin was so fascinated and awe struck with was not nearly as effervescent as before. It took some time before Thorin realized that although it seemed as if he achieved nothing that night, for Thranduil never yielded, he had damaged the King greatly. Thorin sighed as he walked to his chamber door and decided that Thranduil had suffered enough and the scar Thorin implemented so deeply upon his soul would probably never heal. Enough was enough; he would return Legolas to him promptly.

Thorin knew how late into the night it was but he was also fairly certain that Thranduil would not mind being woken if he was allowed to see his child. He still could not release Legolas, not until he was positive that the requested shipments arrived, but a gesture of good faith on his part might go a long way and smooth the road to recovery once Thranduil knew his child had not been harmed. Thranduil’s guard had mentioned that simply seeing Legolas would calm and sooth Thranduil so if nothing else it might make the King less hostile.

He stood in front of Thranduil’s chamber door for a long while, trying his best to gather all the courage he could to concede to Thranduil’s want and need to see his son, Thorin had denied him so obstinately he didn’t wish for Thranduil to think him weak in allowing this. Thorin swallowed thickly before he straighten his back and he was about to knock on the door but his hand fell short and dropped to his side instead.

The softest whispers could be heard from outside the door and two faint word stopped Thorin from proceeding to knock. ‘Gi melin’ It actually stunned Thorin for a few movements before he was able to process the words he had accidently heard. He knew the phrase well enough, used by the Sindarin to speak of love, and this had actually shook Thorin to his very core, the two sweet word were not spoken in passing and he could clearly hear it was Thranduil that spoke the words, that much he could tell…but he needed to know more as he turned from the chamber quickly before he would been seen.

Thorin went back to his chamber and through a cleverly disguised panel on the wall he opened it to reveal a secret passageway. A very select few knew of this passage, it lead to many different rooms as well as a direction deep inside the mountain to allow escape in a case of invasion. Had the attack of the dragon not been so immediate the passage would have been used then, but now Thorin decided to put it to other uses. The room he had placed Thranduil in had been deliberate as it connected to the passage and while at the time he thought he would never have the need to use it he couldn’t help himself but to secretly invade Thranduil’s privacy and see exactly who it was that Thranduil had bestowed such words to. He knew of only one other who was in Thranduil’s favor; however he needed confirmation of this! He approached the opening that would lead into Thranduil’s room; the panel of wall that would open had been covered by a large tapestry as he silently opened it just slightly so he would be able to see into the room from the small gap between the tapestry and wall.

Thorin stood frozen at what he saw, the two elves were kissing…they were in a passionate embrace and actually kissing one another. He wanted to burst through the door and scream at the two, to ask what they were doing, but he couldn’t seem to move. It confused Thorin; he had asked this blasted guard if he loved Thranduil in which he had said ‘no’ apparently he had lied, or Thorin had awoken something inside Aldewin of which he wasn’t aware of until recently. The situation seemed unreal and it twisted Thorin’s insides witnessing the two. He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the two regardless of his own jealous rage which was surging inside him…their lips moved in perfect sync, the embrace was relaxed and gentle; it was nothing like the kiss Thorin had shared with Thranduil. He had blackmailed Thranduil into allowing him a kiss and it was rough and displeasuring for Thranduil undoubtedly, but he was enjoying this experience with his guard, more than he would have ever enjoyed anything with Thorin.

‘Unworthy’ was the single coherent thought that rushed through Thorin’s mind, his mind was spinning, but that lone word rang clear in his head. Thranduil was a King! This common guard had no right whatsoever to lay his hands upon him! Not to mention Thranduil was fragile at this point and time, even Thorin could recognize that, if was despicable that this lowly mongrel would take advantage of Thranduil’s frailty to simply bed him! This elf had no honor, to be so disgraceful toward his own king was vile and Thorin felt a new sense of rage, born from anger not jealousy, it swelled within him. Thorin felt himself make a movement toward the panel, ready to burst through and stop the depraved guard from exploiting Thranduil’s weakness, but he stopped himself…Thranduil seemed to be enjoying it, he pulled Aldewin closer to his body, deepened their kiss and was allowing himself to be held and touched, and regardless of Thorin’s thoughts he forced himself to turn away from the scene.

“If Thranduil wishes to be a whore to a lowly guard that’s his prerogative.” Thorin growled under his breath as he made his way back to his chamber.

He walked over to the nearest cabinet, grabbing a bottle of wine and drinking a hefty amount in one swallow directly from the bottle. He sat down heavily in one of the chairs near the hearth where hot embers were glowing brightly. The situation Thorin had seen burned him with an intensity much the same as the embers in his fireplace. Thorin had wanted to stop it! It wasn’t right and it defiantly was wrong for one of such low rank to be touching his king so inappropriately, but Thranduil seemed to like it so who was Thorin to stop it? Was Thranduil simply desperate? The image of Thranduil willing spreading his legs for Aldewin infuriated Thorin, and in a fit of rage threw the wine bottle across the room it shattering on the adjacent wall.

“Let the lowly cur fuck him! Who knows how many he has given it up to over the millenniums he’s been alive!” He said shaking his head angrily. At the moment Thorin couldn’t see Thranduil as nothing more than a whore, and pathetic slut that would open his body for anyone willing to fill him.

“Thranduil acted as if *I* had disgraced *him*! He disgraces himself!” Thorin screamed. Were their talks nothing but folly? A way to torment Thorin further, and shame his kin with actions instead of words? “Filthy harlot, we will see you humiliated before this is over…I’ll allow the faithful guard dog to service his bitch tonight, but be prepared for tomorrow Thranduil.” He said grabbing another bottle of wine.

***

Aldewin gently cupped Thranduil’s face when their lips met once again for a sweet and emotional kiss. He remembered clearly what this had been like, for the most part he rarely thought of their one time together it wasn’t meant to become anything more and he did his best to let it fade into memory…but he still remembered the touch of Thranduil’s lips, the soft yielding skin, the temperate warmth, yes, he remembered all too well. The cool alabaster skin of his king, and the soft gold of his hair flowing down his back. Aldewin loved to run his fingers through the thick silken locks of hair loving the weight in his hands as he kissed him lovingly.

Thranduil recalled as well, it was never truly forgotten after all, if he had been able to forget things easily he wouldn’t be trapped in this mountain to begin with. But the hot lips against his own washed away all thought of worry and fret from his mind. Aldewin was always so warm, his body radiated fire like a blaze and it heated Thranduil’s blood setting his body aflame. Aldewin tended to have this effect on Thranduil whether he realized it or not.

Aldewin awoke passion within Thranduil which had been dormant for so long. Thranduil had never been oblivious to how handsome Aldewin truly was. Aldewin was tall, a few inches above Thranduil’s height even, his hair having the resemblance of a ravens feather reaching just between his shoulder blades although he tended to keep it tied back rather than allowing it to flow freely. His skin had been sun-kissed and was very well defined due to centuries of field training as well as being captain of Thranduil’s royal guardsmen. However all that paled in comparison to his eyes, they were unusual resembling a polished onyx stone but for some reason Thranduil always found great comfort in those eyes while others viewed them as ominous and somewhat alarming, Thranduil had never felt that way. To Thranduil Aldewin’s eyes shone with friendship and comfort, honesty, and above all love.

Thranduil felt strong arms encircle his waist and pull him a little closer, the heat of Aldewin’s tongue running along his bottom lip as Thranduil parted his lips to allow Aldewin to delve inside. He was an excellent kisser, Aldewin knew exactly how to make Thranduil swoon and moan into the kiss making him want more, to crave this contact, want it to never stop. Thranduil wrapped one hand around Aldewin’s nape to draw him in for a deeper more passionate kiss his other hand running down the defined chest and chiseled abdomen. Thranduil felt somewhat bold as he grasped Aldewin between his legs although he was surprised when Aldewin seized his wrist and broke their kiss.

Thranduil frowned at the action. “You always see it fit to stop me at some point, don’t you want this?” He asked looking into those beautiful black eyes.

Aldewin sighed pressing his forehead against Thranduil’s. “Is it what you want? I’m concerned that you do this not for yourself or for me but because you simply wish to forget…I don’t appreciate being your catalyst to achieve that.” Aldewin said seriously. This was different than their first time, and wanted to be sure Thranduil remembered that.

“Can it be both? Can it be for us and for a moment of blinding pleasure where neither one of us can think of anything?” Thranduil said kissing his neck gently.

Aldewin gave Thranduil a gentle smile. “No…not like this and not here.” Aldewin said kissing him gently. “Would you honestly want it like this? In this cold mountain palace with a King you hate and not knowing of your son? I don’t say this to upset you only to put things in perspective.”

Thranduil sighed deeply nodding his head. “Of course you’re right…you’re always right, something that makes you quite insufferable at times.”

Aldewin couldn’t help but laugh a little at Thranduil’s comment. He pulled Thranduil into a comforting embrace. “We needn’t rush things along anyway Mela en' coiamin, we are timeless.” He kissed Thranduil’s temple.

Thranduil ran his hand down Aldewin’s arm slowly. “I’m sorry…with everything you have done for me I still couldn’t tell you my deepest secrets until now, I want to share everything with you form this point forward…I want you to know me completely inside and out, good, bad, everything.” Thranduil said sitting upon the bed silently asking Aldewin to join him.

Aldewin joined him and allowed Thranduil to rest his head in his lap as he caressed his hair. “I look forward to it, all of it…I wish you to know everything about me as well.” Aldewin said. True enough they knew much about each other but there was always more to know, especially when the relationship happened to change.

“All will be well Thranduil, we will get your son back and we will go home and you needn’t ever think of Erebor again if it suits you.” Aldewin continued to speak soothing words and reassurance until Thranduil fell asleep in his lap.

***

Thorin was still furious as the dawn began to start breaking over the horizon, he had spent the better part of the night drinking and he still felt it wasn’t enough to wash away the image of Thranduil and Aldewin burned into his mind. Thranduil deserved to be with a fellow King! This pathetic guard was not worthy to hold a prize and beautiful and glorious as Thranduil.

Thorin left his chamber and went directly to the medical ward. He quickly made a specific compound to induce sleep in elfs, it was the same concoction he put in Thranduil’s wine the night he raped him…made the elf weak and unable to resist him, Thorin smiled slightly as he altered the formula only slightly so that the sleeping agent would last longer.

“Now let us see you beg…” He whispered to himself.

***

Thranduil awoke in the morning; slowly opening his eyes to the sunlight that peered through the window’s which landed squarely on his face. He could feel the shallow soft breath’s of Aldewin, Thranduil was still resting on his chest, the soft heaving of his chest and strong heartbeat was soothing and Thranduil had fallen asleep to the feeling and sound. Thranduil sat up slowly and silently, he didn’t wish to wake Aldewin, he was fairly certain his friend had waited to the last second until giving into sleep, and while Thranduil was early to rise, Aldewin was not.

Thranduil dressed himself and prepared to go meet Thorin, he had been told the contract would be finished by the morning and that he would be permitted to see his son afterward, they would be treated as guests until the first shipment of supplies as arrived and which point they would be allowed to return home. Thranduil was anxious to simply sign the blasted coerced contract and be reunited with his child.

He left the room and was thankful he didn’t wake Aldewin in the process as he made his way toward Thorin’s study. Thranduil was not particularly pleased going to Thorin’s study since it was directly connected to the bedroom…that damned bedroom where so much mental horror and physical trauma took place, it was challenging to know he was so close but as long as the signing didn’t take too long Thranduil was confident that he could remain calm, he didn’t wish to lose himself like he had previously it would ruin the reunion with Legolas if that happened.

He was shown to the study doors by a dwarf page but once inside the page left, what Thranduil found odd was that Thorin was nowhere to be found. Thranduil frowned, Thorin seemed just as eager to resolve this contract agreement and make it official and if that was the case why wasn’t he here? Thranduil felt his chest tighten involuntarily as he paced the study for a few minutes not exactly sure what to do with himself, he was worried that if he left Thorin would show up and be angered that Thranduil was not present and possibly demand more from him…so he waited but still Thorin didn’t appear.

Thranduil was about to give up and leave but he heard a rustling sound coming from the adjacent room and it gave him pause. He knew what room it was; it was Thorin’s bedroom ‘was it possible the dwarf simply overslept?’ Thranduil thought, he took a step toward the bedroom door but stopped when his stomach lurched almost making him vomit. He never wanted to see that room again, the large bed, the fireplace, the darkened walls…the dark deeds that transpired there. Thranduil couldn’t bring himself to go any further, but something inside him was compelling him almost begging him to open the foreboding door and see what the ruckus was about.

Thranduil’s mouth had gone dry at this point, the voice in his mind kept telling him to ignore the noise, that no good would come of it should he pass that threshold but for some unknown reason he pushed the voice aside and approached the door slowly. He grabbed the handle and pushed forward as the heavy door gave way and opened to the bedroom although he was not prepared for what he saw.

***

Thranduil felt his heart leap in his throat at the sight that greeted him. Thorin was lounging on his bed; he wore a simple robe that was gap-opened in the front revealing his chest as he looked at Thranduil intently. But that wasn’t what distressed Thranduil and made him freeze while his entire body screamed in protest to take some type of action was that his son was laying on the bed right next to Thorin…however Thranduil couldn’t seem to move.

Thranduil’s son, his only child was lying unconscious on the bed with Thorin leaning over him ever so slightly. Legolas didn’t appear to be harmed but the situation was alarming enough without the implication of harm, and looks can be deceiving. Thranduil’s’ breath hitched his heart beating so loudly he thought he would go deaf from the sheer force, what was Thorin doing!? They had come to an agreement; he had said no harm would befall his son! Thranduil suddenly felt a surge of guilt for ever believing anything Thorin had said.

“I was wondering when you would finally get enough courage to enter my room again…I truly wished the circumstances were different than this, but you leave me with so few options.” He said placing a hand on Legolas’ chest which made Thranduil visibly tense. “You can be so predictable and it makes it easy for others to take advantage of you.” Thorin said.

Thranduil shook his head disbelieving for a moment at the sight, the undertones of the situation were horrifying and he simply wanted Thorin to get away from his son. “Thorin…we had an agreement.” Thranduil said taking a step toward him but Thorin glared at the action.

“If you come one step closer I swear I will slit this elf’s throat.” Thorin warned the blade in his hand unnoticed until that point. “And I know what we agreed upon, this nothing to do with that…our contract for trade and such is upon my desk and you can sign whenever you see fit, but this…” He said gesturing to Legolas with his hands. “This is different; I said I would allow you to see him and now you have, does it not satisfy you?” Thorin growled his voice low and dangerous.

“You said you would not harm him.” Thranduil said his voice trembling.

“I haven’t harmed him, he’s simply asleep…I used the same agent upon him I used upon you, it’s a little different he will sleep much longer than you did, but I wanted you awake for when I defiled you three years ago. I knew before I brought you to my chamber that you would never yield to me, it did make my revenge bittersweet.” Thorin looked down at Legolas. “Do you think he would beg? Cry for his dear ada to save him? What would you do to save him, I wonder…this child is your anchor to life itself, if anything happened to him it could very well kill you.”

“Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?” Thranduil’s voice was filled with fear; he wanted to rush Thorin and snatch his child from Thorin but feared what he would do if he happened to fall short.

Thranduil looked at Thorin. “Why do you hate me so much? I have wronged you and I admit to that if you wish for me to beg for forgiveness I will, do you want me on my knees and begging?” Thranduil asked. “Is your only joy in life making mine miserable? If anything happened to him I won’t survive very long thereafter, and then what would you do, without me to torment or pay for my sins against you.” Thranduil said.

“You told me you tried to forget…why not remedy that little failure of yours?” Throin asked seeing confusion sweep Thranduil’s features, although he knew that he was listening regardless. “I have the means to make you forget everything that transpired between us that night, it can all be forgotten and this unpleasantness between us will go away with it.” Thorin looked at Legolas a moment then back at Thranduil. “Elves are not the only ones with magic.”

“So you wish to violate my mind as well.” Thranduil said through gritted teeth. “You do strike me as someone who would rather take the easy way out of this unpleasantness.” Thranduil said looking at his son. “If I said no?” Thranduil asked.

“You would risk it? I’m a little surprised that you would resist this proposal, surprised you didn’t think of this option before now.” Thorin said sitting up but still keeping very close to Legolas.

“…I did, I considered it…but it would give the opportunity for you to get too close, I didn’t fancy risking myself yet again.” Thranduil looked at Legolas.

“This can be resolved easily…simply yield to this proposal, and I will return your son. He will never even know he was here this day. The contract agreement is simply not enough, while we can survive with the proposal it is far less than ideal, we simply need more, and you are far too unwilling.” Thorin said looking intently into Thranduil’s eyes.

“I will listen to everything you have to say, but please let him go…there is no reason to harm him. I am willing to do what it takes…just let him go.” Thranduil said feeling his insides twist almost chocking on the words themselves.

“Good. You needn’t worry in the least King Thranduil, all this will soon be behind us and we can start anew.” Thorin said pulling out a small vile from his robe pocket. “I had this made earlier, drink it and all will be forgotten in the morning.” Thorin said.

Thranduil shook his head. “How can you be sure it will not take more? I cannot have my memory completely eliminated…” He said trying to stall until he could figure out some way to *not* agree to this without endangering the life of his son.

“It is carefully measured and specifically prepared for certain time frames; this will remove a little over three years so that no recollection of that night between us will be retained, nor anything afterward…but I’m sure you understand sacrifice.” Thorin said, he wouldn’t lie to himself he had high hopes that this potion would not only erase their strife but also that damned guard and the relationship Thranduil had with him.

Thranduil reached out and took the vile from Thorin with a shaky hand almost dropping it because of the trembling fingertips. “The contract…what of the contract?” Thranduil asked.

“All you need to do is sign it, I was given the right to renegotiate at a later date and I am content enough to wait until that time…I’m sure it puts you at ease as well.” Thorin said. “It’s on my desk in the study, it’s up to you whether or not you sign it, whether or not you drink that potion, whether or not your son remains safe.” Thorin said his tone low and dangerous.

“I’ll sign it, I’ll drink this…now please let him go.” Thranduil said.

“Drink it now.” Thorin said.

 

***

 

Gi melin - Love you (familiar)  
Mela en' coiamin - Love of my life

So sorry I know most of you were expecting a Thranduil/Aldewin scene but after giving it a shot it seemed too soon and Aldewin always has Thranduil’s best interest in mind and I can’t picture him taking advantage of him when he is so fragile. I made their scene a fluffy one and hopefully that’s okay ^_^ Things seem to have gotten a little darker with Thorin too, he simply can’t stand the fact he will never have that chance with Thranduil so he comes up with a rather inventive way to start all over with Thranduil, but what about poor Aldewin will Thranduil forget everything the two now have? Will the potion even work? Hope you are all enjoying this! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, if you have any questions please feel free to ask!

Special thanks to all those who have commented, gave kudos, and bookmarked me!


	7. Survial Part II - Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late installment! Hope you guys forgive me for being so late with this chapter took some tweaking that took longer than expected!

Title: Survival Part 2  
Chapter: 7 of ?  
Status: in progress  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Beta: XxIrisxX  
Pairing: Thranduil/Thorin, Thranduil/Aldewin  
Rating: R-NC-17 / Mature  
Series: Yes  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~

Warning: angst

Author Note: I decided to go ahead with a love scene with Thranduil and Aldewin, with him forgetting and all I want Aldewin to be with him at least this one time, remember though that is has been three years since Thranduil’s assault so while mentally he’s a little shaken it’s not so terrible to be with Aldewin and physically he’s perfectly fine. Also so sorry I took so long getting this chapter out to you, please forgive me!

***

Thranduil had swallowed the potion, he had actually allowed himself to be blackmailed into drinking something that would supposedly make him lose all recollection of the past three years…in a way it was a relief that all the anguish and pain would simply disappear, that all the sleepless and nightmare filled nights would now be over and he would no longer slip into these feuded states, he would even be able to look into a mirror again and not be disgusted by what he saw in the reflection. Yet at the same time he was still unsure if this was the right thing to do, he really had no choice but to concede to Thorin’s demand, there was no telling what the dwarf would do if he refused…but what was going to happen to all the new negotiations with Lothlorien and Imladris? Would he be able to keep them growing into a strong alliance or would his old distrust resurface making him reject his fellow kin once more. A million different scenarios of what this memory loss would produce flew through Thranduil’s mind.

Thorin had released Legolas as promised once the contract was signed, Thranduil was surprised that Thorin had made no changes to the treaty except to renegotiate the terms at an earlier date than previously stipulated which was shocking but he didn’t argue or question it. Thranduil could still taste the potion, it was actually sweet but had a somewhat dry aftertaste as if it was a liquor of some sort, but even if it wasn’t necessarily a bad taste it still left him with a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach and he forced him to look upon Thorin with nothing but contempt in his eyes.

“…if this doesn’t work, if I still remember…” Thranduil said looking into Thorin’s eyes as his son was being taken back to his room, Thranduil refused to speak or act without his son out of harm’s way.

“The treaty has been signed already, but I’m not worried about the potion being ineffective. I’m sure that by the morning you will remember nothing of our…encounter.” Thorin said choosing his words carefully.

“You will remember though, and the ones you have told will remember…the ones I have told…” Thranduil said thinking of Aldewin his insides twisting at the fact he would not remember their declarations of love to one another.

Thorin felt anger well up inside him instantly knowing who Thranduil was speaking of. “Why do you care what that miserable guard of yours thinks?! He is beneath you!”He yelled standing up.

“You have no right to pass judgment upon anyone. If he is beneath me what does that make you?” Thranduil said his own frustration getting the better of him.

Thorin glared at Thranduil, regardless of everything Thorin had put him through and the proud elf was still the willful and bold creature that he had come to love and hate. “You are a King.” Thorin growled.”Your station demands a mate of the same status.”

Thranduil scoffed. “Regardless of Aldewin’s occupation he happens to be a lord of noble birth and station that rivals that of a King, he chose to serve the royal family of Mirkwood but his title was never lost in doing so. You shouldn’t speak of what you know not of…and even if he wasn’t a noble, if he was a lowly servant, a beggar in the street, I would still hold him dear to me because unlike others, unlike you, he would never hurt me and it seems that is all you are capable of.” Thranduil said about to walk away.

“I didn’t want to initially hurt you…it was never my intention.” Thorin said.

“Don’t lie to me. You knew from the start that I would not yield to you. I want you to know this now Thorin even when I forgotten everything nothing between us will change if you think by removing the assault I will be more amicable toward you…you are mistaken. Not now, not then, not ever will I allow you to touch me.” Thranduil said leaving Thorin’s chamber without another word.

***

Thranduil sat in his chambers already lying in his bed as he stared out into the twilight sky from his balcony doors, Aldewin was sitting near the fireplace the flames dancing cross his skin and reflecting in his shining black eyes. Thranduil for a moment wanted to tell Aldewin exactly what he had done, try and explain and justify his actions, and where Thranduil was sure Aldewin would understand his actions he also knew that Aldewin wouldn’t agree with them…it wasn’t an easy choice but this would affect Aldewin and their relationship. Thranduil had written himself a letter to remind him of a few things before he fell asleep and the potion worked its way through his system, apparently it took a little time before he would forget, he had written a small passage about his relationship with Aldewin hoping it would rekindle his feelings for him remind him about how much he loved him, hopefully that would be enough. Aldewin’s voice broke him from his thoughts.

“Will you not tell me what is bothering you? You have been acting peculiar ever since you left from the contract signing…and it’s still rather early for you to be in your night attire, are you feeling all right?” Aldewin asked concern lining his voice, he knew well that elves did not become sick but with all the stress that had been placed on Thranduil recently he wouldn’t be surprised if it was wearing him down.

Thranduil reached out cupping his friend’s cheek affectionately. “I’ll be all right, I’m just exhausted and pleased that this will all be over soon…things will go back to normal.” Thranduil said as he locked eyes with Aldewin. “I really do love you…” He added trailing off a bit as a feeling of fatigue crept over him. ‘I guess it’s finally taking an effect.’ Thranduil thought.

“I love you too.” Aldewin said. “I am not ready to retire as of now, but I will join you later.” He said.

Thranduil nodded slowly, even if he awoke with no memory resting with Aldewin was nothing new; he had woken in his friend’s arms countless times. When Aldewin began to walk away Thranduil grabbed his hand gently and pulled him closer to kiss him, their mouths meeting in a sweet but somewhat sad kiss which made Aldewin pull away and look and Thranduil puzzled.

Aldewin took Thranduil’s hands in his and knelt down to look into his eyes. “Thranduil…” Aldewin began about to question him again knowing that something was bothering his King but Thranduil placed his fingertips on Aldewin’s lips preventing him from saying anything further.

Thranduil grabbed the lapels of his tunic and pulled him closer for a more intense and passionate kiss than before. Thranduil grew a little frustrated when Aldewin seemed to be resisting a little pulling away from the kiss all too soon.

The action frustrated Thranduil. “Am I so undesirable that you must turn away from me at any advance I attempt?” Thranduil asked shaking his head.

Aldewin sighed. “Don’t say such things…I told you my feelings about this already, that hasn’t changed overnight.” Aldewin said drawing Thranduil into a warm embrace.

“I’m not doing this to simply forget…I understand you don’t want to have sex with me, but what about making love to me? That’s completely different and I don’t want you to fell like I’m using you to gain something other than your love and acceptance, let me know and assure me that I am not spoiled, that I am not so damaged that I do not deserve to be happy.”

Aldewin sighed deeply. “I have only ever wanted your happiness.” He said softly, there of course was part of him that wanted Thranduil, almost a desperate need to embrace him and consummate their love with one another but there was another part that was urging him to wait to take his time and not rush into anything that he might regret…worse of all something that Thranduil would regret.

Aldewin was shaken from his thoughts when warm soft lips met his own and began to draw across his jaw line and to his neck into the hallow of his throat. He wanted to stop Thranduil but his limbs refused to move in that aspect instead they drew Thranduil closer and pulled him into a more passionate kiss than before. He did truly love Thranduil and if his king needed reassurance in this matter Aldewin found himself now powerless to deny him of this. He had laid with Thranduil once, offered him comfort when he needed it so desperately and he had never regretted that decision not had it complicated this lives with one another yet this was slightly different, he was a little unsure on his approach so he brushed away all thoughts of doubt and kissed Thranduil.

Thranduil was normally yielding to his partner when it was another male, but aside from his wife Aldewin was the only other he had been with like this…with Thorin it didn’t count. He was comfortable in this elf’s arms, and remembered what their first and only time was like he had loved it immensely and writhed a little in his arms.  
“Last I had you in my arms you barely even squirmed…” Aldewin said snatching Thranduil’s wrists.

“What fun would this be if I simply allowed you to conquer me, I didn’t allow you that privilege before, if I recall I made you work for it.” He taunted pressing himself against Aldewin making the said elf moan softly.

“Challenging you already are, although it’s nice to see you still have some fight left in you.” Aldewin said using his mouth to torture the pale elf in front of him considering his hands were busy keeping Thranduil’s at bay.

“Allow me…” Thranduil gasped slightly as Aldewin’s searing mouth left a trail of fire down his throat and along his collarbone. “Let me delight you.” He said as Aldewin stopped to look at Thranduil a moment before nodding.

Aldewin gasped slightly when Thranduil shifted himself from Aldewin’s arms and began to kiss a trail from his mouth down, when Thranduil moved lower he unlaced Aldewin’s legging with his teeth and began to lavish affection upon his thighs and only graced his tongue across Aldewin’s arousal, this teasing was likely to make Aldewin go mad and when he was ready to simply tackle his youthful king and ravish him Thranduil swallowed his member causing him to arch from the floor a scream being lost in his throat.

Aldewin couldn’t help but gaze at Thranduil as he expertly sucked upon his arousal at an agonizingly slow pace. Thranduil’s hands were not idle either; they stroked his thighs and gently massaged his scrotum while taking Aldewin to the back of his throat making the other gasp in pleasure.

Aldewin enjoying the feeling of being brought to the brink only to be pulled away seconds before falling over the edge. Aldewin had forgotten that while Thranduil seemed innocent and naive, he was no stranger to love…he knew exactly what he was doing.

Thranduil moaned softly at he moved up and down delighted how this hot shaft pulsated in his mouth. He could feel Aldewin’s thighs tighten and relax as strong hands were threaded through his hair that was pulled every so often.

“You are killing me with your mouth! Do you intend to drive me mad?” Aldewin gritted out when Thranduil brought him once again back from the edge.

Thranduil drew away from him and smiled. “Would you prefer for this to end quickly? I could finish you quite easily…I can make you scream.” Thranduil dawdled while gracing his long fingers over Aldewin’s hard member. “Do you not wish me to devour you?”

“That wasn’t my question.” Aldewin said gathering all the strength he had to stop Thranduil as he flipped the younger elf on his back and straddled his waist quickly. “In no sense do I want this to end quickly Melethen, but if you insist on my insanity I cannot be held responsible for what I do.”

“Do you have that little of restraint?” Thranduil teased as Aldewin claimed Thranduil’s mouth in a bruising kiss crushing Thranduil between him and the floor. Aldewin’s arousal sandwiched between their bodies and pressing against Thranduil’s own need. Aldewin couldn’t’ help but rock his body against Thranduil causing wonderful friction  
His entire body felt as if it was on fire, the heat emanating from Aldewin’s body was consuming Thranduil making him sweat. The front of Thranduil’s tunic was opened and Aldewin began to ravage Thranduil’s nipples making him whimper. Aldewin seemed to delight in the painful pleasure he brought Thranduil to in these games not relenting until both Thranduil’s nipples were swollen and red. Aldewin ran his hand over one slowly making Thranduil whimper slightly both being overly sensitive from the treatment. Thranduil hated and loved it all at the same time. However he enjoyed this, he hated when others treated him like a porcelain doll as if he would break if handled to roughly. He wasn’t a doll, a toy, he was a living breathing person and resilient enough to be loved as such so he relished in this attention and affection, revered this love he was receiving.

Aldewin kissed Thranduil hungrily as Thranduil pulled him close pushing Aldewin’s tunic up and over his head only breaking the kiss long enough to remove the shirt. Thranduil allowed his hands to wander the expanse of Aldewin’s back, his arms, stomach, chest; he mapped out Aldewin’s body with his hands before he dragged his nails down Aldewin’s back making him moan loudly into Thranduil’s mouth.

Aldewin pulled away for a short moment to look at Thranduil as he removed the elf’s tunic quickly. His nipples were swollen and red much like his lips that were still moist, he looked almost exotic with his pale complexion and golden hair…by the valar he was beautiful even in such a dim light. Thranduil’s body was of smaller build but there no doubt in Aldewin’s mind that he was strong, he could see the lengths of muscles that strained and flexed when he battled for dominance although Aldewin wanted to conquer him, he wouldn’t mind so much if it was the other way around.

He removed Thranduil’s legging slowly wanting to take his time with this. Not to mention it had been some time since they had been with one another or another male, he needed to take the beginning slowly so not to hurt him.

“Meleth…if I am going to fast, you need but say the word, and I will stop.” Aldewin said before going any further with him.

Thranduil smiled at the consideration and sincerity in Aldewin’s voice. “I know you want to be one with me.” Thranduil smiled and kissed him gently. “So please…take me, I do not want you holding back though in concern, I want all of you in full force.” Thranduil kissed him more aggressively this time.

Aldewin smiled at Thranduil. “Who am I to deny what my lover wants?” Aldewin said as he pushed Thranduil’s legs apart settling between them his length gently grazing the cleft of Thranduil’s buttocks. They honestly had no oil or salve hidden away for this occasion but Aldewin knew well enough to use what was available.

He couldn’t help but tease Thranduil slightly though, as punishment for nursing his arousal so horribly. He growled playfully in Thranduil’s ear making the said elf shiver slightly as he pressed forward his length just at Thranduil’s entrance before he pulled away making Thranduil whimper in anticipation and want…but that was just it Aldewin didn’t want Thranduil to simply want it, he wanted Thranduil to need it, desire it so much he felt he would die without it…he wanted Thranduil to tell him what to do, ask for it.

“I know you want this my king…” Aldewin said while he gently pressed one finger inside Thranduil’s body making him gasp slightly. “Tell me how much you want this…” He breathed into Thranduil’s ear.

“This is a rather cruel game you are playing upon me…” Thranduil gasped when Aldewin’s finger pushed further inside him and stroked the walls of his body slowly.

“Well…I would rather prepare you anyway, least I want to hurt you…if I intended to cause you pain I know of much more pleasurable ways of doing it.” Aldewin gently nipped at Thranduil’s overly sensitive nipples. “Now…” He said slipping another slick digit inside Thranduil and gently pressing down upon the bundle of nerves that made Thranduil see stars. “I will continue to torture you and not give you any more unless you speak, how am I to know what you want if you do not tell me?” Aldewin said feigning ignorance making Thranduil whimper slightly.

The situation was humiliating enough as it was already, making him voice his desires would only embarrass him more. “Do you delight in embarrassing me?” Thranduil asked.  
“I delight in hearing your voice…come now, appease me.” Aldewin kissed Thranduil on his neck gently humming and driving Thranduil crazy with his hands, which were not idle, but not giving him enough of what he so craved.

Thranduil swallowed his pride it wasn’t important anymore, Aldewin obviously would be able to hold out longer than he was…he should have tortured him more than he had earlier for this. “Touch me then…” Thranduil said softly trailing off slightly.

Aldewin smiled “Where.” He whispered softly in Thranduil’s ear. “Here perhaps?” Aldewin said twisting Thranduil’s nipples making him shudder.  
“N-no…lower, back inside me.” Thranduil said a blush spreading across his chest and face.

Aldewin smiled doing as Thranduil asked shoving three of his fingers at once inside Thranduil’s overly excited body making him arch and cry out from the sudden intrusion although it wasn’t really painful. From experience Thranduil knew it always started out a little painful no matter how much you perform the act, it always hurts a little but that was part of it…but once you become used to the feeling it was wonderful.

Aldewin gently brushed against that bundle of nerves deep within Thranduil, taking pleasure in the many sounds that poured from Thranduil’s lips, the way his limber body would twist and move to gain more stimulation.

“Come now, speak to me, tell me what it feels like…” He whispered gently into Thranduil’s ear.

Thranduil had moved beyond the initial embarrassment by now, it no longer mattered enough to where he cared. “F-filled…and hot…AHH!” Thranduil cried out when Aldewin once again hit his prostate.

Aldewin smiled feeling Thranduil’s body shudder under his own from stimulation. He snaked out of his own leggings as he kissed Thranduil pushing his fingers further inside his lover making him whine into their kiss. His delicate hands running down his back wrapping around him and bringing their bodies closer.

“Tell me you love me…” He said lifting Thranduil’s chin and looking into the blue eyes of his king.

“I love you…make love to me now.” Thranduil said kissing him gently on the mouth.

The kiss and movement was gentle, while Aldewin knew Thranduil had experienced he also knew that it had been some time since he had last been with another. The last thing he wanted to do was rush, there was no need to take this quickly and even though Thranduil didn’t mind being handled a little roughly the beginning of penetrating his lover needed to be taken slowly.

He handled the situation with care, going slowly allowing Thranduil to stop him if need be. Thranduil knew well enough to relax himself but honestly that only helped so much and he was forced to stop Aldewin once or twice. Nevertheless, Aldewin soon found himself fully inside his new lover and the feeling was so intense he gasped..

Thranduil was concentrating on his breathing at the moment but he could feel the strain in Aldewin’s muscles through his arms and back. Once He was used to the feeling he allowed himself a contented sigh. He gently brushed Aldewin’s cheek who looked at him with a soft smile.

“I’m fine…move, you are being much more torturous by staying still.” He whispered softly.

Aldewin complied starting out in slow shallow thrusts, pulling out farther as time progressed and pleased whimpers poured from Thranduil’s lips. His strokes became long and more powerful soon his hot breath scorching Thranduil’s neck as he pushed himself forward with heavy breaths.

Thranduil angled his body to gain more stimulation before he wanted a change bringing his legs up locking them around Aldewin’s waist preventing him from moving. He shot a somewhat angry look at Thranduil for this but Thranduil only smiled as he pulled away from Aldewin momentarily.

“I am not fond of lying on my back, I prefer variety…” Thranduil said standing on his knees and Aldewin did the same.

“Then how would you like to be taken?” Aldewin asked but didn’t wait for a reply as he grabbed Thranduil by the thick of his arms turning him around and pulling him into his lap, penetrating him hard and fast making the said elf moan in approval.

“Yes, this is absolutely exquisite!” He cried as he was brought up and down upon Aldewin’s length in swift upward motions, Thranduil himself eager to help and move easily enough on his own without Aldewin’s guiding hands on his hips.

Aldewin’s hands moved between his legs gently massaging his thighs and teasing his length with brushing touches. Aldewin smiled kissing Thranduil’s shoulders and neck as he hooked one of his arms around Thranduil’s so that he would not be able to touch himself.

“S-Saes…I, I need…release me!” Thranduil yelled angrily.

The feather light touches were torture to Thranduil as he strained against Aldewin but it was unlikely he would break his hold. Thranduil slowed his movements making Aldewin growl slightly in his ear.

“What is it you need Melethen? Perhaps you should ask nicely?” Aldewin teased.

“Please…touch me.” Thranduil said a little breathlessly from his exertion.

Aldewin smiled. “Move faster and I shall consider it.” He said moaning as Thranduil complied with his request.

“Hêndir vaer…” Aldewin said trailing off slightly.

Aldewin raised his hips meeting Thranduil with every downward motion as he ran his free hand over Thranduil’s peaked nipples teasing them softly until he moved lower to Thranduil’s weeping erection and gently stroking him.

Without warning Aldewin pushed Thranduil forward having him on his hands and knees as he continued thrusting into Thranduil’s body taking hold of his erection as he continued to stroke him. His powerful body slamming into Thranduil’s making them both cry out from the sheer force, but loving it all the same.

Aldewin stopped but only momentarily as he stood pulling Thranduil up as well on shaky legs, picking him up with barely a moment’s hesitation regardless of Thranduil’s startled shout at the action. Thranduil did not hold back a scream when he was practically impaled and then slammed against the wall. Aldewin using the wall for leverage to further skewer Thranduil upon himself making the said elf cry out freely.

“Ai Elbereth!” Thranduil screamed latching his legs around Aldewin’s waist, tight enough not to fall but loose enough to allow a liberal amount of movement.

Aldewin grimaced slightly feeling Thranduil’s nails dig into his back feeling them practically tear into his skin. The slight pain only made Aldewin slam harder and harder into Thranduil who cried for more with anew urgency.

It escalated into rougher movements, as their cries of passion were unrestricted without a care or worry, in their own world where only the other mattered and that was all that mattered. Their pleasure and curiosity being fulfilled one moment at a time. Until their cries of release spilled from their bodies and they laid exhausted on the floor of the room in breathless bliss.

Thranduil’s closed his eyes momentarily loving the feel of Aldewin’s weight on top of him, wishing he could stay like this forever but his body needed a moment of release from the intense heat as he shifted slightly under his lover.

“Melethen? Are you all right?” Aldewin asked, slowly and gently pulling free of Thranduil who gasped at the motion.

“Non mae.” He said pushing himself up on his forearms giving Aldewin a soft smile. “I would like to move to our bed though, the floor is hardly comfortable.” Thranduil said his legs feeling unsteady as he stood with more effort than he should need to take.

Aldewin smiled going to Thranduil and pulling him close as he lifted Thranduil taking them both to the bed. They settled into the covers Aldewin running a hand idly through Thranduil’s hair.

“Tomorrow, make me fall in love with you again, remind me of how much you mean to me…in the morning don’t let me forget you.” Thranduil said getting a somewhat confused look on Aldewin’s face.

“Are you planning to forget us?” Aldewin asked slightly concerned.

“Never.” Thranduil said softly not long after falling into a dreamless sleep.

***

When Thranduil awoke he felt strange, lethargic and nauseous as if he would become sick and faint simultaneously if he wasn’t careful. He got up very slowly finding Aldewin beside him which wasn’t a common occurrence but it wasn’t entirely uncommon either; so he disregarded it. The first thing he noticed was that he wasn’t in Mirkwood and if he wasn’t mistaken he was in Erebor, in the mountain palace but he couldn’t recall how or why he was here…in fact he couldn’t recall much of anything his mind seemed shrouded and he couldn’t seem to break free of the darkness. He was about to wake Aldewin but stopped upon seeing a letter addressed to himself sitting upon the desk, he opened it and gasped upon reading it.

_\--Thranduil, as you read this I’m sure you are quite confused and that is why I have taken the time to write this letter to myself in the hope of explaining a few things. I want you to know that you have taken a memory loss potion and you did so of your own free will, I cannot tell you what you have lost for it would be folly to do so, just trust in yourself that this was done for the best of yourself, your people, and your son. You have lost three years and in those years you have established new trading convoys with Lothlorien and Imladris and I pray you continue to work toward the common goal of peace and hopefully one day an alliance with our fellow kin._   
_You should also know you have since signed a completely reformatted contract with Thorin as it lays upon your desk right now. He will cease all contact with you until he is allowed to renegotiate at a later date and I strongly suggest that you obey these stipulations, there is good reason and I do suggest you never turn your back on this dwarf. I leave you to contemplate this decision and hopefully you will understand somewhat that this needed to be done and you will learn again to live as you were meant to._   
_Before all else, I beg of you to consider Aldewin carefully. In the years that you have lost you had also formed a loving and committed relationship with him during that time and it was cut short due to this decision and I do not believe he will forget as easily as you, be compassionate and know that you love him, you were in love with him and he is still in love with you._   
_Do not stress too much over this decision for there is no turning back, retrieve you son who is here with you in Erebor and return to Mirkwood, you are a strong and powerful King remember that always._

Thranduil shook his head confused. “Three years?” He said out loud to himself as if trying to force himself to absorb the information he had just received.

***

[Saes] - Please  
[Hêndir vaer] -Good boy (lit. male child good)  
Ai Elbereth  
[Non mae]- I am well

[Meleth] - Love

[Melethen] - My love/My Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we had some romance between Thranduil and Aldewin but who knows if it'll last, again I apologize for this chapter being so late and as always comments and kudos are appreciated and always responded too, thanks so much for taking the time to read this fiction of mine!


	8. Survival Part II - Chapter 8

Title: Survival Part II – Chapter 8

Chapter: 8 of ?

Status: in progress

Author: Nerwen TelrúnyaAuthor’s 

Email: [akio_amadeo@yahoo.com](mailto:akio_amadeo@yahoo.com)

Pairing:  Thranduil/Thorin (Past Tense) Thranduil/Aldewin (OMC)

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Series: Yes

Genre: Drama 

Summary: What happened to Thorin and Thranduil after the incident in Erebor, and what effects did it have on their respective kingdoms. When Thranduil cuts off all ties with Erebor Thorin realizes how much he depended upon their trade and his people are suffering the consequences and with Thranduil dismissing all acts of communication he decided to contact the prince instead, Legolas.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters; I am merely borrowing them for a while having some fun too. ~Shifty Eyes~ 

Warning:  angst, self-harm, mental trauma 

Authors Note:  Special thanks to everyone who have been so patient with me! I appreciate everyone’s support, also thanks for everyone who reviewed, tipping me just over 100 comments *happy dance* I hope to add some love scenes soon in future chapters and hopefully everyone will approve, thanks again for reading!

 

***

Thranduil saw the contract on the desk and the new rules and stipulations were less like a trade agreement and more like a barrier between Mirkwood and Erebor. He wasn’t sure what would prompt such a drastic change in their original trade, it was no wonder he had made arrangements with Imladris and Lothlorien, he really had no other choice but to rely on others for shipments of goods…how Erebor was surviving without Mirkwood’s help was beyond Thranduil though. Mirkwood and Erebor used to live in a very lucrative and beneficial trade agreement, he wanted to trust in himself that everything he had done for the past few years was all in the best interest of himself and his people but it didn’t feel like *him* it made Thranduil question his very self.

He glanced at Aldewin and remembered the letter saying that they were in love…but he didn’t exactly feel it, he knew he loved Aldewin but not in the same capacity as the letter spoke of and that worried him for Aldewin’s sake. His friend’s feelings were not to be taken lightly especially since he kept them bottled away for the most part keeping his neutral mask and emotionless facade the normality but Thranduil knew who he truly was and breaking his heart could very well be devastating to the elf…Thranduil didn’t want to hurt him.

Once more he felt that the person he was now was drastically different from the elf that remembered three years past, he felt that unless the circumstances were dire he would never have allowed anyone to violate his mind and remove so much from him…and if that was the case what was so important, so ominous, that he would allow this to be done. He found himself suddenly wanting to know what had happened but drew back from that prospect quickly, the letter to himself had warned him of delving too deep into what he apparently wanted to forget. He needed to trust himself in this; a king was absolute in his decisions including this one.

He walked to the bureau and began to dress, regardless of everything else the letter had also instructed him to retrieve his son, something snapped in his mind and tied his stomach in knots that his child was not nearby, was not with him and this sensation filled him with a type of urgency to collect his child and make his way back home. He stole another glance at Aldewin and softened at the sight of his sleeping face, his heart swelling slightly by simply looking at him filled Thranduil with a sense of safety and security…was it possible that he was truly in love with him? Thranduil shook away that thought for the time being and asked the dwarf assigned to him where he could meet with Thorin.

***

Thorin had to admit he was a little surprise that Thranduil had agreed to meet with him so easily in his private dining room for a late breakfast. He had been praying the entire night that the potion had worked it’s magic, sometimes something would go wrong as it would erase too much or too little of the memory, sometimes it didn’t work at all and everything had been retained. The potion had only been tested on dwarfs they had never had the option to test the effects on an elf before as elves did not become sick what reason would they have to resort to tonics? Unless a certain someone was threatened their child …he hoped it had worked, an prayed the situation was successful so he could start anew with the elf, maybe in time he too could forget what happened between them.

Thranduil seemed much calmer when he entered the room; he didn’t seem nervous or on edge as he was their past encounters, and his attitude was defiantly back to normal if nothing else, the air or arrogance and sense of strength that showed in his posture and demeanor. This was the elf that Thorin had come to respect and come to care for…not the vulnerable damaged one he had created. The rich and powerful voice broke Thorin from his thoughts.

“While the contracted stipulated that we would never have contact again I needed to see you at least this one time to retrieve my son.” Thranduil sat down at the small table set before them and regarded Thorin carefully. “I understand you have been detaining him against his will and mine…this will not bode well with me in future negotiations between us, maybe you could tell me why.” Thranduil said looking intently at Thorin.

Thorin swallowed thickly. “Legolas came to us o his own free will initially, Mirkwood is a key supplier for Erebor and when our agreement and trade routes were cut off it damaged us greatly…my people are starving and Mirkwood was the only one who could help us. You wouldn’t listen to reason so more drastic measures needed to be taken, I didn’t harm your child I merely held him so you would listen to me.” Thorin said hoping things would be salvageable. He wasn’t sure if removing Thranduil’s memory would help but it was all he could think of.

Thranduil shook his head. “You made the wrong choice, apparently I have made arrangements with other realms…and while I agreed to help you it might be prudent for you to make other arrangements as well.” He said standing. “Give me my son Thorin, I wish to return home as soon as possible.”

“We agreed you would stay until the first shipments of goods arrive.” Thorin gritted out. While he was pleased Thranduil was seemingly back to his old self it still irritated how authoritative Thranduil was even when he was a guest in another’s kingdom he still acted as if he was the King.

“You think I am lying to you? That I would play so carelessly with the lives of your people?” Thranduil said truly offended. “I would not allow them to die Thorin, regardless of any wrong doing between us I would not let them perish for they themselves have nothing to do with that.”

“You said so yourself that your only interest in me and my people were strictly from a cultural and political point of view, you care nothing about us!” Thorin screamed earning a confused look from Thranduil.

“I never said that!” Thranduil screamed right back.

“Yes you did, when you came to pay homage to my grandfather we met later in the library, your exact word were: _“I am curious about your people and your culture but only from a historical and diplomatic point of view, beyond that there is really nothing I care to know about you or dwarfs in general.”_ Those were your exact words and I never forgot it!” Thorin said. He remembered those cruel words when he was smitten with Thranduil as a young dwarf how he so carelessly tossed him aside as if he wasn’t worth the flesh he was printed upon…those cruel words that spurned his anger and festered deep into his heart until it exploded in a most terrible way.

Thorin paused after a moment and looked at the true confusion that was in Thranduil eyes…did he actually *not* remember that, did the potion remove those memories too?

Thorin supposed it was possible, there were a few cases in dwarfs where the intended time period was removed as planned but it seemed to cause a chain reaction within the mind removing other memories as well, those cases were so rare that Thorin had forgotten about them completely when giving Thranduil the potion…not to mention if that was the case there was no telling what else Thranduil could have forgotten, this situation could cause massive changes in Thranduil depending on what he remembered and what he didn’t.

“Regardless of what you memory is telling you…you said that.” Thorin partially growled, those words still stung Thorin; those words were partially responsible why he had acted so viciously against Thranduil and for him to not even remember burned Thorin.

Thranduil simply shook his head at Thorin. “If I did then…I apologize, it was ill mannered to say such a thing.” Thranduil said, usually he would never apologize, but the look on Thorin’s face…it was obvious how insulted he was by such a statement and it was in poor taste to say such a thing to begin with, even if he didn’t remember saying it.

Thorin looked at Thranduil shocked when he apologized, did he hear him right? Had this stubborn and conceded elf just apologize to him? “Why couldn’t you have said that sooner?” Thorin said barely above a whisper his mind instantly going to three years past…if Thranduil had just apologized at that time Thorin would have never…none of this would have happened between then. “I’ll take you to Legolas, follow me.” He said leaving the conversation behind him, thinking about it was actually somewhat painful. He moved to place his hand on the small of Thranduil’s back to guide him but before he could even touch him Thranduil jumped away from him making both of them stare at each other in confusion.

Thranduil for some reason felt an overpowering urge to keep Thorin at arm’s length and under no circumstances wanted the dwarf to touch him, for whatever reason it sent a wave of panic through his entire system and forced him to recoil, his heart beating faster and muscles tensing at the very thought of Thorin touching him even in the most innocent of situations. Thranduil assumed this was due to what he had forgotten and why he stipulated Thorin never seek contact with him…he was curious but the need to squelch that curiosity quickly forgotten, realizing it would do more harm than good if he remembered something he willingly chose to forget.

Thorin also tensed at the strange reaction, apparently while his mind didn’t remember his body still seemed to recall, and it wished to defend itself against him at all costs. This reaction could cause many problems in the hope to repair the damage between them; Thranduil’s voice broke him from his thoughts.

“I will stay until the first shipment arrives from Mirkwood, as requested and I thank you for taking me to my son.” Thranduil said.

Once Thranduil and Legolas were reunited and the two greeted each other in a rather uncharacteristic embrace and Thorin decided to leave the two of them alone and motioned to the guards they would no longer be needed. There was no need for them to keep a watch on the young prince anymore and Thranduil have given his word and although it seemed at first that was simply not enough it seemed to be good enough now. Thorin made his way to the medical wing intent on speaking with the apothecary who prepared the memory elixir and intended to ask a few questions about the new development.

***

“It was really nothing out of the ordinary; I used the Lethe's Bramble flower and I was positive that I got the amount correct for the time frame you requested.” The apothecary said unsure why Thorin seemed so troubled. “I added Sprigs of Valerian as well though, with him being Elvin I wasn’t sure that the lethe’s bramble would be enough for they can be remarkably resistant to forms of poison.” He said simply.

“Poison? What does that have to do with this?” Thorin asked caught off guard by the words usage the apothecary chose.

“Well my lord…while it is a potion it’s almost the same a poisoning someone, the only difference is the effect instead of erasing his life you erased his memory and I warned you that our memories are what make us who we are, they are as much of our future as anything else. If he is behaving out of the ordinary it’s only natural and to be expected.”

“But he has forgotten things that happened decades ago! How is that within a three year time frame?” Thorin said angrily.

“This is not an exact skill or discipline my lord, and he is an elf at that, this has been used and tested on dwarfs many times but never on an elf before I wasn’t even sure it would succeed. Regardless of the unexplained side effect you should be thankful it worked at all.” He said trying to remain respectful but also confidant in his own craft, it took an extensive knowledge of herbs and apothecary to make the potion with the height, weight, age, so many factors to calculate with the individual and then the complexity of the person being an elf threw the entire measurements off balance. Thorin was lucky it had worked and not simply made the elf ill.

Thorin shook his head. “I am thankful just…is there any way to see what he remembers and what he doesn’t some type of test or something?” He asked.

“I’m afraid not, if he doesn’t remember something how could he possibly confirm that?” He said as Thorin gave a heavy sigh and left to contemplate his own thoughts on the situation.

***

Aldewin eyes slowly opened as he felt the space beside him not seeing Thranduil there although he wasn’t really concerned about that. Aldewin knew that Thranduil was an early riser, he wasn’t sure how he was able to manage such a hectic schedule, always late to bed and early to rise he was shocked that Thranduil didn’t faint from exhaustion but he seemed to handle it well. The night they had shared together was particularly wonderful and he had hoped to exhaust his King but it seemed he would have to endeavor to achieve that goal at a later time.

He quickly dressed and found himself slightly concerned for where Thranduil could have gone off to as he went to the desk seeing the contract that was drawn up for the new trade agreement as he slowly read it over and also noticed it had been signed by both Thorin and Thranduil. Aldewin sighed relived that they had reached come type of agreement. Aldewin knew that once Thranduil was back home he would be more at ease and it was defiantly healthier for his King mentally to be where he would be safe and loved.

Aldewin was about to move away but noticed another parchment upon the desk as he picked it up noticing it to be a letter of some sort, it was meant for Thranduil which under normal circumstances would push Aldewin to dismiss it entirely as it was not his business but for some reason he couldn’t stop himself from reading it and upon doing do his mouth went dry his hands practically shaking in a silent anger at the foolishness his King had done.

Thranduil waked in his room a moment later and noticed Aldewin immediately with the letter he had written to himself, he was immediately concerned when Aldewin turned his eye to his own. Those beautiful black eyes that Thranduil trusted and loved looked voided now, negated and filled with sorrow. Thranduil was about to speak but Aldewin did so first.

“Do you think it wise to have played so carelessly with my heart? I have been by your side your entire life...I have been confused, threatened, appreciated, and proud, you have made me feel the most intense and powerful emotions known…however I never thought you would make me feel so wretched…so unimportant that breaking my heart simply didn’t occur to you.” Aldewin said his voice monotone and stoic not allowing his own raging emotions to show, his neutral mask firmly in place.

Thranduil shook his head. “I would never…I never wanted to hurt you of that I am certain otherwise I would not have reminded myself of you.”

“My feelings for you Thranduil cannot be so easily forgotten as you have let go of your memory, why would you allow Thorin to so brazenly violate your mind like that?!” Aldewin asked his emotions starting to break through.

“I’m not entirely sure it was Thorin, I made this decision on my own.” Thranduil said firmly.

“Folly!” Aldewin screamed at him. “Ever since you and that dwarf have crossed paths he has lied to you, stood in judgment over you, I don’t trust him; I don’t see how you can!” He growled. “How can you possibly believe in anything he does after what he did to you, after he…” Aldewin stopped speaking for a moment upon seeing confusion clearly written on Thranduil’s face and uncertainty in those lapis blue eyes of his.

“No…” Aldewin said.”Of course you don’t know, you have washed your hands of all the unpleasantness choosing the easy way out of your own misery not caring of the lives you’re placing in jeopardy by what you have done.” Aldewin sighed deeply. “Thorin in dangerous…to you, and to everything you hold dear.”

It took Thranduil a moment to absorb everything Aldewin had said, seeing the hurt in those beautiful black eyes made him wish he could have retained the relationship they had just so he wouldn’t have the knowledge that he was the one that caused such pain to someone he had literally know all his life. The one person he could always count on to be there for him, is cherished one above all others…and Thranduil had hurt him, and having never done such a thing before Thranduil was unsure on how to make it better, how to make it up to him.

Thranduil did not look at his long term friend, unable to bear those polished eyes of his friend so full of anger and pain it reflected upon Thranduil’s vey soul. “I didn’t do this to hurt you…” Thranduil said softly.

Aldewin turned away from Thranduil. “I can understand why you did it; you were manic, miserable in your own existence so I can understand why you wanted to forget what made you so despondent in the first place, *that* I understand. But why would you embrace me if only to forget it moments later, or was that simply the point that you wouldn’t remember?” He asked.

“…No, if I wanted to simply forget you and everything that happened between us I wouldn’t have reminded myself that I love you.” Thranduil said firmly. “Do you doubt it?” He added. His love for Aldewin was not in question, he had loved this elf for all of his life and that would never change.

“I doubt the context.” Aldewin said brushing past Thranduil. “I assume the young prince is safe in which case once the first shipment of supplies arrive we will be departing…please do not call upon me unless you need me.” He said going back to his own chamber before he said something he would later regret.

“Wait, Aldewin please…” The look Aldewin cast Thranduil’s way made Thranduil’s words die in his throat and his words felt like and ice blade in his heart.

“I’m afraid I cannot overlook your selfishness at this point, I realize you want to repair this damage between us but it is of mo benefit to me, I know you too well Thranduil and your wish to remedy the situation is to relive your own guilt not to comfort me.” He said not looking back at his king. “Right now I feel like my misery would like some company.”

Thranduil wanted to run after him but he was not sure in what to say to him to make things all right again. Aldewin had been angry with him before, they had arguments like everyone else, but this was the first time he actually hurt Aldewin on a deeply emotional level and he didn’t know how to handle it. Also he did feel selfish but not for the reasons Aldewin believed, in all honesty Thranduil felt like it was wrong of him to feel misery just for the simple fact those were Aldewin’s feelings and he shouldn’t be allowed to share in them.

For a moment Thranduil thought he had made a mistake on allowing his memory to be taken away from him, the way he had reacted when Thorin touched him suggested something terrible transpired between them, and Aldewin telling him how miserable he was before the loss only reinforced that suspicion, but he didn’t know why he felt this way…also if he truly loved Aldewin as more than just a trusted friend and confidant why didn’t he feel the same as before. The entire situation was so confusing and he was doing his best to stay calm and regal, to harden himself to outside influences regardless of personal feelings. Thranduil leaned against the corridor wall looking to where Aldewin had left…at this point he needed his friend more than anything.

***

Thorin smiled slightly to himself after watching the scene between Thranduil and Aldewin unfold. He couldn’t have wished for a better outcome! The memory loss was just one piece of Thorin’s plan in gaining favor with Thranduil once more, he had plans for getting Aldewin out of the picture but it seems to two were in a rift of some sort already which only made it easier. Thorin made his way back to his own room; he would need to act quickly for once the first shipment of goods arrived Thranduil would be homeward bound…he would need to act before Thranduil was once more out of his reach.

 

***

 

 

Again I'm so sorry to everyone who had been so supportive of this fic and I’m sorry for the unreasonably late update, I haven’t given up but this chapter just took a lot of thought and I wasn’t sure how to go about it, hope you guys enjoyed!

 

 


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